Love, Self

Help! My Fiance Has Unhealthy Eating Habits

cheeseburger couple

You tend to eat more as a couple. For one thing, you eat out more. You share appetizers or desserts, encouraged by many of the "two-fer" restaurant specials. Eating out on weekends or with family on special occasions makes it easier to indulge, to be more lax, compromise and splurge on calories or carbs you might not otherwise tend to order, if you were eating solo. 

With hectic schedules, just being together with some intimate time to share can be reason to celebrate with rich, succulent food and seductive wine. Nothing wrong with that! It just all adds up.

Stress is rampant in our culture. It stimulates fight or flight chemicals that create cravings for sweets, starches, coffee, tobacco and alcohol, part of an addictive blood sugar roller coaster that's fueled by poor nutrition. 

Processed foods spike blood sugar. The body secretes insulin to compensate, but in the process, the drop in blood sugar creates more cravings, and gut-busting cortisol that creates belly fat and overtaxes the adrenal glands. Vicious circle.                        

The problem isn't just health. This roller coaster affects mood, energy and even sexual hormones, according to Men are from Mars author, John Gray, as he explains in his new book Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice. When the body's so busy dealing with out-of-control blood sugar, it stops producing the restoring testosterone and dopamine hormones your man needs to recoup, have energy and be at his best. That's why he retreats to chill in his cave or lounges in front of the TV. So sugar and junk foods not only undermine his digestion, blood sugar and energy, but his manhood and your relationship. And we've been blaming men for being men!

Hormones have us. According to Gray, the answer isn't just healthier, real foods but also understanding how these hormonal gender differences play in our interactions with each other. Women are fueled and calmed by the hormone oxytocin versus testosterone, stimulated and restored by nurturing and being nurtured.

The same things happen with us. Too much stress from working in a man's world — plus a second shift at home — ramps our testosterone, puts us women on fire and edge, unable to calm down without the supportive help of our balanced serotonin and oxy hormones, honeys or husbands. But good lifestyle choices — both blood sugar-balancing whole foods, attitudes and activity — plus understanding of our physical, emotional and hormonal differences as partners can help us not only cope with living in a crazy world but can also bring us back together at home, supporting each other with healthier eating, healthier and happier interactions as a couple.

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