I haven't been out in the dating scene for a few years, but I have quite a few single gal friends who frequent online dating sites and the bar scene. Their shared tales are enough to make me want to repeat Carrie Fisher's line in When Harry Met Sally: "Tell me I'll never have to be out there again!" Yes, it's harder than ever to find an honest, consistent gentleman who is looking for partnership and is serious about settling down. However, despite most women's experiences, I'm here to say that these elusive gentlemen absolutely do exist, and they are waiting for you! The key is in knowing what attracts a man to a woman and inspiring them to step up and treat you like the goddess you are. So what attracts a man to a woman? Here are three big factors: Appreciation Most women are very appreciative in our hearts. We feel flattered when a man compliments us or shows interest. If the attention and praise is coming from an attractive man, some of us get so excited and caught off guard that we freeze up with nerves and/or question his sincerity. For this reason, most women often forget to express appreciation. We forget to say "thank you." We don't take that extra moment when we're out with a man on a date to look him in the eye, soften our voice, and tell him that he's touched our heart. Often we even deflect compliments and acts of kindness and honor. A man will say "You look beautiful tonight," and we rush to compliment him back. Even though men enjoy flattery, they want to feel that their compliments have landed with us and positively affect us. Most men don't know that a woman who doesn't say "thank you" is really just uncomfortable basking in male attention. Usually, a man will take a deflected compliment personally, feeling he doesn't have the power to impress his date with words. For more ways to feel like a goddess who deserves love , attention, admiration and praise, sign up for my Goddess Love Help Newsletter. It contains my 5 Goddess Tips , which will help you step into your inner enchantress with ease and dignity. After all, a true modern enchantress never misses a chance to bask in male attention! Softness It doesn't matter how tough you are, softness is about tenderness and vulnerability, and even the loudest gals can be soft in all the right ways! What attracts a man to a woman is an extended invitation on her part for him to get to know her on a deeper level. If you are sending men the message that your heart is walled up with barbed wire, you aren't going to inspire men to act like gentlemen. You are going to make them feel challenged and defensive. Keep reading... More dating tips and advice from YourTango: 8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single Should Know 25 Date Night Ideas That Aren't Cheesy 5 Dating Tips For Finding The One Think of your heart as a pillow. I know that sounds silly, but it might help chip away any brittleness and loosen you up. Next time you're with a man and you feel anxious or closed-off, take a moment to visualize your heart as a pillow. What does it look like? Soft, fluffy, cozy and snuggly, right? Let this image of a "pillow heart" loosen any tension in your body, especially in your hips and face. Let yourself melt into your seat. Don't forget to breathe. If you start to shake with nerves, it's okay. He'll feel flattered that he has the power to unnerve a pretty gal like yourself. What's important is that you invite him into your heart by softening any severe edges, so that he begins to feel encouraged to come closer. Feminine Tranquility You'll often hear smart, funny women say that men don't appreciate smart, funny women. That's simply not true. Men love intelligence and a great sense of humor. What a lot of men don't like is hostile energy, and unfortunately, a lot of smart and funny women have a hostile, masculine energy. Being really smart and witty and being neurotic usually go hand in hand. A little neurosis is charming, but a woman who overanalyzes everything isn't attractive to most men. What attracts a man is her calm energy. This comes with trust and surrender. When you can trust that you and your date will have fun and enjoy one another — and when you can surrender to any variable that's out of your control (like his behavior) — then you make room for a connection to form. Men want to share intimate moments with women who can stay in the present moment. Being in a calm, peaceful mindset on a date really makes a big difference. It allows you to relate to your date. It allows him to feel emotionally safe opening up and sharing himself with you. It allows you to be funny in an attractive way, which is more playful than being sarcastic and cynical. Next time you go on a date, take some time beforehand to relax. Whether it's in a hot bubble bath or sitting outside under the shade of a peaceful tree, take a moment to get centered and to connect with your heart and soul. It will make a big difference in your ability to be intimate and tender. Dating is the opposite of a job interview or a chit-chat with friends. A date is your time to be vulnerable, playful, and gentle. Think about the men who turn you on — they are the ones who can slow down and connect with you in a sensual and melodic way which makes you feel like the only woman in the room. It's time to make him feel like the only man in your universe—even if you are juggling three other guys on the side. If you want to know more about what attracts a man to a woman, sign up for my Goddess Advice Newsletter. It's all about self-investigation, offering my readers tools and exercises to help them open their hearts to connection and calm their minds while in the presence of men. It won't just change your perspective on love, it will change your ability to capture the love of that special man. Also by me: Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You .
