Why Do Some People Fear Commitment?



Sometimes younger people who are enjoying the fun and thrill of dating cannot fathom choosing just one mate for life. Of course, many young couples are excited to be married and start a new chapter in life. Others, however, see it as letting go of youthfulness or as life slowing down. The cycle can enter the mind of marriage, kids, grandkids, retirement and death when stepping out of youthfulness into commitment. This person may also need to wait before making a lasting commitment, such as marriage.

Mate For Life Stigma

There are people who believe that humans aren’t meant to mate for life, that nature’s goal was to populate the species, and that this natural urge is being criticized as a type of defect in a person in our society. These individuals aren’t likely to walk down the aisle.

Loss Of Freedom

Men and women are both quite independent in today’s society. Becoming committed is a choice, not a means to survive. Whether an accurate or inaccurate stigma, the perception is that once you are in a relationship, your freedom disappears. For some, they don’t want to feel obligated to anyone and are quite happy with the way things are in the present.

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They enjoy the freedom of dating when they desire, going out with friends or even enjoying the quiet at home while reading a good book. Some younger individuals see friends get married, then disappear from social activities they used to attend. The “that won’t happen to me” can begin building the wall of fear to commit.

We cannot deny that many marriages are failing today – so perhaps the stigma of those who fear to commit should be put aside. For, by being insightful and reflecting, he or she could be sparing another from a painful divorce in the future. Commitment and/or marriage need to be right for both people involved for that relationship to have a fighting chance. Fear of commitment doesn’t necessarily mean that the person will never want to commit, it just means that right now isn’t the right time.