Does Cheating Kill Romance Forever?


Cheating takes the trust away from any relationship, but does the romance also vanish with it?

Is it possible for a couple to recover from infidelity, or does it mean the relationship is over? Is it a real option to continue without romance or intimacy or affection, or should the relationship end completely and permanently? Consider two different scenarios involving cheating and romance in relationships.

Scenario One: Bob and Carol

They had been married for 20 years when Carol had an affair. She didn't mean or plan for it to happen, but she met a man at a work-related conference, and one thing led to another. Notice how it is possible to read that sentence and accept certain ideas and assume certain things are true without really knowing the circumstances.

We make an assumption that the marriage wasn't particularly happy or romantic, mostly because she ended up being unfaithful. We also accept as a truth that Carol did not intend to have an affair, and that it was some sort of accident that merely happened.

This somehow takes some of the sting and seriousness of the act out of the picture. But in fact, she would not have seen any opportunity to commit an infidelity if she wasn't thinking about the possibility in some way. She allowed an event to happen that she had mentally considered, but had not planned. 

Then you have to ask, why was this something that she had considered possible, and why did she let it happen? Again, in a story like this we would assume that the marriage was lacking something, that there was no romance. We also assume that Bob hadn't been unfaithful, which may not be true. But Bob and Carol now have a problem - can they use this crisis to make their relationship better?

If cheating killed the romance, it is a different situation than when the cheating happened after the romance was dead anyway. In this case, it is possible that the couple will decide that they have something worth saving, and will work on their marriage. It is possible that romance will bloom again and Bob and Carol will continue to live together, and happily so?

Scenario Two: Ted and Alice

Ted and Alice are a young couple who still have love and romance in their relationship. They met and fell in love in a whirlwind romance that was real and genuine - they actually love each other, and have felt that way from the start a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, Ted has what is known as a wandering eye. While he loves Alice, he also has a tendency to allow himself to fantasize about having other women.

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