Monogamy, Serial Monogamy or Something Else?


What Does Saying "I Do" Mean To You?

What does saying "I do" mean to you?

For some it means a commitment to love the person they are with forever. For others it means a commitment to family and sharing. And for many others it also jokingly perhaps, and then maybe not so jokingly in the end maybe, means a death sentence.

Have you seen that t-shirt, with the image of a married couple on it, and underneath the married couple it says "Game Over?" It's kind of a joke in our society, but is it really a joke? Are we hard wired to be monogamous and faithful or is this something that we do to fit into society? To fit into a society created by church and state? Well, let's see.

I think it’s a pretty well known fact that ‘happily ever after’ is a concept that is often easier said than done. People still cling to and admire the ideals of a long-term commitment and marriage. Sure, it is perhaps defined by society, church, state whatever, but let's face ot there is an intrinsic need to bond with someone, to have a close connection with one person and only one person.  And with a little effort and cooperation many find that it is actually doable in the long long term, when they have both feet in the relationship. Whilst others are finding that this is not what they want and that finding a new partner is sometimes just easier, and that divorcing themselves from their partner and situation makes more sense. So, my question is then is Monogamy natural or is Serial Monomgamy more natural, or is it something else all together?

Let's talk about the state of marriage and couplehood today, mainly as I see presented in my office. With so much exposure to new and alternative ways of embracing marriage, I see more and more couples ‘coming out’ so to speak, to embrace their sexuality by exploring 'alternative' lifestyles within the marriage. 'Alternative' lifestyles are giving couples a third option, so to speak, when relationships need a little extra push to get up that hill. Cheating has been the norm for decades, and still continues to be the norm in a lot of ways, but I think with women having more independence, control and power these days in terms of working, and raising children, than a few decades ago, the infidelity playing fields are a lot more balanced than before. That is kind of how I see it. Though I don't have real statsitics. But with egalitarian ideals of marriage becoming more and more normative, and couples cohabitating before taking the plunge, I think that more and more couples are seeking ways to be realistic about their desires to be with someone outside the union, when the desire occurs. A lot of times, more often these days it seems that this includes open, permissive and 'alternative' lifestyles. Keep Reading...

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