Dating Life Complicated? Enlighten Yourself

Dating Life Complicated? Enlighten Yourself

Is your dating life complicated? Do you push away good men when they show the first sign of doing something less than perfect? Do you wonder why you cannot find any men of quality to date? The answer may be closer than you think.

When I was in my 20's and dating, I thought all I needed to do was to dress sexy and find an attractive man who fit my laundry list of the characteristics I expected an ideal man to have. I soon found that the men I was attracting with my sexy dresses were not the same ones who could make me happy.

More to the point, I was on the prowl and I found men who were very willing to get physical extremely quickly, but were not interested in me as a girlfriend or eventual wife. That got old quickly as I realized I was attracting wolves instead of my ideal man. Dating wasn't about dressing sexy and acting provocatively; there was more to it that I simply did not yet understand. The part I was missing was that I needed to work on myself and what I required to make a relationship work.

This was something I had never thought of before. I thought if I wrote down what my ideal partner looked like, acted like, and treated me like, I would have it made. Boy, was I wrong! That is only one small part of the equation. To create a successful relationship, I needed to understand myself.

What I learned is that understanding yourself is a life-long task. If you begin today, you can look forward to many years of learning about yourself. It does not have to be a boring task; quite the contrary. It can be very exciting to really understand who you are and what you need to create your ideal relationship.

My personal journey to self-understanding and awareness began with reading all the self-improvement books I could find on relationships. Instead of concentrating on that ideal partner, I began to answer some serious questions about myself: my likes and dislikes, my personality traits, and my temperament, for example. It was fun and eye-opening and sometimes embarrassing as I realized how much "growing up" I still had to do.

If you are confused, frustrated, and maybe even fed-up with dating or getting into the wrong relationships repeatedly, I encourage you to do the same thing. Begin with yourself. Once you understand yourself, even a little bit better, you will be closer to identifying which kind of relationship works for you.

Meanwhile, join my upcoming webinar workshop on Conscious Dating: Relationship Success Training for Singles. They are held regularly, with the next one starting on October 6, 2010. For more information, click here: If you haven't gotten my free report for singles yet, you can get it now at