How To Survive the Trauma of Valentines Day


Being single on Valentine’s Day is no fun.

Being single on Valentine’s Day is no fun. It’s the one day of the year that you really can’t - no matter how hard you try - avoid the fact that you have no man to love, no man who loves you and truly may be destined to be alone forever. The pain of past love lost and the disappointment of present loneliness can drive you to eat more than just one box of chocolates; to soothe the pain it may take two or three!

Even with self-soothing activities the uncomfortable, sad and stressful feeling that V-Day brings can cause you to question yourself, your choices, your past, present and even your future. For others this holiday can be the day of their dreams. What do you do if for you it is twenty-four hours of feeling lost, rejected, unloved and disconnected?

The key to rocking Valentine’s Day as a single girl is to get out of the past and present and leap instead into planning your future. This year buck the trend and spend the national holiday with some important you time: Reclaim control over the woman you are and fill up the hours of love day creating the path to your future smokin’ hot relationship with these five actions:

1- Believe in your ability to find the man you desire. Check in with yourself about what you believe you deserve in the love department, what you think you are worth and whether or not you are ready for the kind of relationship you wish for. Your beliefs drive 100% of your behavior. If your beliefs are not in alignment with your desires then you will never have what you want.

2 - Imagine what that relationship will be like. In order to achieve any of your goals you have to have a clear idea of what it is that you want. Check out the difference here: 1) Do you want to be in love? or, 2) Do you want to experience a deeply satisfying emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual bonding connection with a man you can be more naturally yourself than ever before? The difference in the specificity of those two questions is the difference between really knowing what you want - which allows you to better plan how to get it - and just drifting along waiting for something to happen.

3 - Clarify the type of man he is. Once you’re specific on the type of relationship you want you have to get clear on the type of man who can help you create it. “I want a hot guy” is not exactly the same as, “I want a man who turns me on physically, excites me mentally, connects with me emotionally and is supportive of my journey to become my best self.” Use this day to create the full picture of who Mr. Right really is.

4 - Verify why those traits and qualities are important to you. Finding your future soulmate is about more than just knowing what he looks like, sounds like and how he behaves. It’s also about knowing why that kind of man is important to you. How many times in the past have you gotten in relationships with men you knew weren’t right for you but you went along with it anyway? This year is going to be different because this year you are going to keep your eye focused on what’s significant to you, which is more than just who happens to be available.

5 - Strategize how to find a man like that. Get out of the looking for love rut by looking for it in a whole new way. It’s time for a new strategy: You will attract men who resonate with who you are, the energy you exude, the passion you live with and the person you are striving to be. Starting today make a commitment to become even more of your true self; focus on deepening your connection to her and let that lead you to situations that bring you in contact with new people, one of whom may be your mate, or can introduce you to him.

While on V-day you can swear off magazines, television, radio and the internet your own mind can still keep dragging you back to memories of that shocking breakup, or deeper down into the disturbing experience of all your fears about whether or not you are even lovable. The further down that rabbit hole you go the more powerless, hopeless and helpless you’ll feel.

The key to surviving Valentine’s Day unscathed lies in shifting yourself out of woe-is-me thinking and instead moving into go-is-me behaving. You are a gift, a prize, a woman to be cherished and adored. This holiday, start believing, living and loving yourself that way.