A Mama's Boy No More: Keys to a Healthy Relationship


Mama's boys walk the fine line between endearing and annoying.

Women looking for a healthy relationship often look for many things. They want a man who is employed, caring, kind-hearted, and supportive. An ability to make them laugh or make them breakfast in bed, naturally, doesn’t hurt. But, these aren’t the only things involved in the female’s quest for love: how a man treats his mother is also important.

It has often been said that the way a son acts towards the woman who gave him birth is a good indication of how he will be towards a wife. If a son and his mother have a healthy relationship, it bodes well that the son and his wife will have the same. But, if a son and mother have a relationship that is estranged, disrespectful, or non-existent, the son’s role as a husband may be one he has a bit more difficultly adapting to.

Then, of course, there is the other end of the spectrum, the side where the mother and son have such a healthy relationship that it becomes anything but. That’s right, I’m talking about the mama’s boy.

You don’t have to have breast fed until high school or still live at home to be a mama’s boy. Many men are mama’s boys and don’t even realize that they are labeled as such. Yet, when it comes to romance, acknowledging your mama's boy potential is imperative because of one factor: what men may interpret as a healthy relationship between mother and son, women may interpret as a deal-breaker.

In a way, this seems unfair: how are women qualified to judge the relationship you have with your mother? They may not be qualified, per say, but their judgments are based on experience, and you can’t argue with a person’s experience.

This isn’t to say you can’t be loving and loyal towards your mom; there is no need to unfriend your mom on Facebook or quit going over for Sunday dinner. But, when wooing a new woman or trying to get an ex-girlfriend back, it’s best to part with the following three traits that many mama’s boys have in common:

Not being able to take care of yourself: The bond between a mama and a mama’s boy is a healthy relationship…as long as you are still a child. This is because mama’s boys, in general, tend to rely on their mothers to take care of them: their moms do their laundry, cook their meals, clean their house, and make their decisions for them. Often, this is what a mama’s boy comes to expect in a girlfriend. And that, quite frankly, is enough to leave him single for quite some time. It's simple, really, a woman wants to be your partner, not your parent.

Telling your mom everything: The mother of a mama’s boy wants to know everything that is going on in her son’s life: who he’s dating, how work is going, whether or not he’s eating enough because he’s looking kind of skinny. They want to know everything, but that doesn’t mean they should. When a mama’s boy discusses certain things with his mother, things like his girlfriend’s faults or (insert "ew" here) their sex life, a woman tends to see it as a huge invasion of privacy. This violation compounds even more – about a million times more – if the mama insists on interfering in the relationship through letters, phone calls, emails, or really ANY form of what is sure to be uncomfortable communication.

Making your mom your number one gal: Mama’s boys love their moms, and they should. Mothers, of mama's boys and all boys, have sacrificed and given more than some people ever thought possible. The problem, however, that mama’s boys encounter is putting their mom in front of their girlfriend or wife. Every women wants to be the number one priority in her man’s life, she doesn’t want to play second fiddle to a woman she can’t compete with. It's because of this that men who are unable to place their partner at the forefront of their priorities will find their romantic relationships falling into one of two categories: unhealthy or nonexistent. 

To learn more about having a healthy relationship, click here.