Measuring the Seams of your Relationship

Love, Self

3 Essential Steps to Creating a Full Heart ready for an engaged relationship

In my on going quest for personal growth and my commitment to expanding my consciousness I have been constantly pulled and pushed to challenge myself in looking at how I can shift my perspective.

I was having tea with my friend and amazing relationship coach, Orna Walters, not too long ago. We were talking about our journeys and how we got to where we are today. It was like I had run into an old friend, and we were both giddy as we talked about our lives and realized we had so much in common.

Common stories create synergy and relationship and I wanted to share what came out of this conversation as it was very profound. When we Love, are we Loving from a heart that is full of Joy, Love, Happiness or are we Loving from a heart that is partly empty? In order for us to truly be able to Love another person we must be fully filled inside. "If you have a cup of tea and the cup is half empty, there is not much tea you can give and share from it, but if your cup of tea is overflowing and now your tea is spilling over to the saucer, you have plenty of tea to give and share" she said.

There was a time in my life when I was giving and giving and giving of myself in all areas and ended up feeling sucked dry and taken advantage of even though I was the one making the decision to give. I didn't realize until many years later that I couldn't give what I didn't have, I couldn't share something that was not overflowing in my life. Just like a dress that is too tight and does not fit can't provide the proper coverage, a heart that is not fully filled with love for oneself cannot provide love to another.  You must measure the amount of fabric and sew the proper seams to make sure that the dress fits and there is enough fabric. The obvious starting point would be to work on filling your heart and mind so that you could share and give from the excess and not the lack, so that no matter how much you give and share you always feel filled and never empty or used.

The challenge is, though, to take the proper measurements and sew the seams and edges in the right place to see how much excess you have. And if you don’t, what can you do to shift that so you can have the right amount of fabric.  In turn start giving from a place of abundance instead of a place of gain and compromise.

These 3 steps are essential to creating a full heart:

1. Make sure you take care of yourself: that means making decisions that are good for you from eating the right food, to surrounding yourself with positive people; from enjoying every success in your life, even the small ones, to holding off judgment and criticism for every result you generate.
2. Engage in activities that make you feel good: one could do so much here from being in nature to pampering yourself, to taking a nap to rest your body and mind or saying NO when otherwise you would have said YEs even if you didn't mean it.
3. Give what you already have: and here is where you practice giving only what you have already gained and not what you are still seeking for if you are still searching for it you might be too quick to compromise yourself to gain it.

Much like a measurement taken on a piece of fabric to complete a pattern, the amount of peace, love, happiness and whatever else is important for you, will help you gage what more there is to learn and grow to have enough of it all in an effort to not run out and remain empty.

How much fabric do you have to work with?  Is it enough to complete your dress so you can start making one for someone else?