How Self-Love Changed My Life

Love, Self

Love Thy Self

If you’ve had your Life Purpose Blueprint identified, you know what your Life School is, whether it is Peace, Wisdom, Love or Service. I am in the School of Love and isn’t that the truth! My life tests and my life rewards all revolve around relationships. The most potent relationship, for any of us, is the relationship we develop with ourselves.

As I’ve shared, collaboration has taught me the power of truly allowing other people in my life to help me create, discover, grow and evolve. Pamelah Landers ushered the concept of collaboration, supported by Self-Love, into my life. Pamelah is also in the School of Love and my co-mentor and business partner for the hand analysis programs of IASHA (International Association of Scientific Hand Analysis).

Pamelah, affectionately known as “Fairy Godmother,” has a powerful yet tender energy about her. She is patient, kind and loving. She strives for fairness, harmony and beauty in all her interactions. She continues to show me what Self-Love is and how it improves every other aspect of our lives. In my five years of growing to know and love Pamelah, I have slowly but steadily discovered the magnificent healing properties of Self-Love in my own life.

To make sense of what Self-Love is, let’s look at the three stages of relationship as inspired by the work of relationship and sex expert David Deida.

In the first stage of relationship, it’s just all about you — your needs, your desires, your goals, your preferences. There is usually a lot of pain and drama at this stage, as people in partnership battle for dominance and control.

In the second stage of relationship, you develop your masculine and your feminine energies. So if you were a hard-driving CEO-type (masculine expression), perhaps you take up ecstatic dance and playing the guitar (feminine expression). If you were a stay-at-home mom with four children (feminine expression), perhaps you go back to school, get a degree and begin wielding your power in the boardroom (masculine expression). This stage of partnership is about fairness, respecting boundaries, giving and receiving, listening and communicating openly and honestly.

In the third stage of relationship, you transcend your ego demands and you transcend your need for everything to be, pardon the Fox News phrase, “fair and balanced.” In the third stage, you become aware of the sky, the ocean, the wind, the Universe BREATHING YOU. You are the channel for divine inspiration and wisdom. You are a part of the whole. You begin to ask, “What does love want right now?”

In absorbing Pamelah’s constant admonition, “Don’t be mean to yourself,” and my commitment to continually asking, “What does love want right now — in this partnership, in this conversation, in this hand analysis session, in this dance, in this contract negotiation, etc.?” Self-Love has shown her radiant, luminous face to me.

What does Self-Love look like in my life?

Here’s my growing list:

  • My Life Purpose is my number one priority and commitment. Everything follows after purpose.
  • I don’t do things that are not in my brilliance. I delegate them — this includes cooking, cleaning and taking my car to the shop for OIL CHANGES and tune-ups.
  • I say “Yes” to help whenever it is genuinely offered.
  • I ask for help if I struggle with any problem longer than 10 minutes.
  • I go on dance retreat for at least a week every quarter to keep my mind and body fresh as well as my creativity activated and innovative.
  • Celebration is daily. What was accomplished today? Who gets a thank you note? What team member is deserving of recognition for going above and beyond their job description?
  • Allowing others to hug me, hold me, kiss me, gift me and simply saying “Yes, please” and “thank you.”
  • If a “mean” thought crosses my mind, I say, “Cancel that,” and replace it with loving words. For example, if I say, “My belly is bloated,” I say, “Cancel that, my belly is strong, healthy and the core of my body and intuition.”
  • I practice compassion and kindness with everyone, always searching for the right presence to bring them, whether silence, a story, a joke, some advice or a hug.
  • I attempt to make all my experiences fulfill my three core values: Freedom, Connection and Discovery.
  • I surround myself with people, places and experiences that exude love as a core principle.

The MORE I express and receive love unconditionally, the more my life just flows without struggle or stress. It’s only taken 44 years to have this awareness. I can’t wait to see what happens in the next 44 years!

What would more Self-Love do for your life? Let us know!

To YOUR Purpose – It’s in YOUR Hands (nobody else’s – ya hear!),

This article was originally published at Reprinted with permission from the author.