2 Major Insecurities That Undermine Modern Men

How does the modern world affect masculinity?

By Maya Boneva Mahama — Written on Jan 24, 2018

Photo: getty

We live in hard times for men! Myths about what is masculine are subject to daily attack. Not only directly aimed at the male audience, but even more unpleasant — like a Trojan horse, the harmful codes are implanted into the female brains, and through them is the easiest access of the virus to the man's software.

Society, incidentally or not, gradually removes the characteristics of masculinity, and as a result, in my office and in the office of many others, the number of men with insecurity increases many times.

The ever-increasing demands on men lead to the 2 following main insecurities:

1. He worries about his ability to make a woman happy.

Whether they are beautiful enough (compared to the men in the ads), whether they are financially capable of satisfying the newly emerging needs of the woman (and the children if they have or are planning to have), also created by the modern society.

Whether they are better off in bed than the vast competition that a woman can free and easy access through social networks and the dynamics of life.

2. He worries about what makes a man "a man".

To make it easier for you to understand me well, stop reading and think about the qualities and characteristics you consider to define a man as "a man".

If you find it difficult to figure out, let me help you: his ability to be a leader (in the family, in the football team, among his friends, etc.), his skills for making logical decisions and assert them, the impulse not to obey, to follow his will, and even to impose it, his ability to do things that women cannot, that is to say, his sense of being useful and meaningful.

Think now: In today's world, the man does not go hunting, where he sets the rules and proves his courage and strength. Today, the man goes to work. In most cases, there is a boss who imposes his rules, decisions, and actions every day. Today the man goes home and there is his wife waiting for him — emancipated, successful, working, and tired.

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The woman today competes with the man, proving quite often that she can do everything on her own. "For what, I am needed?" the man asks, unconsciously.

Even if he has created a life for her so she can remain a woman, then the uncertainty comes from the question if he is good enough to hold that woman, because of the feeling that a richer, more beautiful, more passionate, or more romantic man can appear at any time!

Uncertainty is basically fear. Fear generates a series of processes in the brain that in turn lead to increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline — the stress hormones, and a decrease in serotonin levels — the hormone of happiness.

These factors are at the root of conditions such as depression, panic attacks, mood swings, anger outbursts, road rage, and these, in turn, untreated, lead to more serious conditions. Contemporary tools of coaching and psychology allow these sensations to be worked out.