Finding peace with unreasonable people

Self

Surrounded by know it all, unreasonable people? This article helps you survive and find peace.

It’s a New Year and you’re hoping to resolve the past with unreasonable people and work it out. But, that’s not going to happen no matter how hard you try. Unreasonable people are unreasonable and that means you cannot reason with them. You can however find peace in the New Year by changing the way you communicate with them. Below are a few suggestions that will help. These tactics work with co-workers, ex’s and family members who are challenged to see anyone else’s perspective other than their own.

Get over the illusion that you can work it out and resolve the issues with an unreasonable person. Unreasonable people cannot see your perspective, so give up trying to make yourself and feelings understood.
Keep them talking…they love hearing themselves. The less focused on you and your view the better…it’s about winning to them and that means they have to rebut anything you say.
Anything personal you say will be later used against you. Keep your conversations away from hot topics. They enjoy drama and will create it when possible. Keep your comments direct and logical.  
Limit time spent with them. When possible keep your time with them short. If you’re forced to spend more time with them, use distractions. They are easier to be around when involved in activities such as attending a sporting event, cooking a meal or any distraction that doesn’t involve agreeing.
Understand their unreasonableness is rooted in insecurity. We’re all unreasonable at times, but people who live most of their time being unreasonable have a deep personal insecurity. Helping them feel secure goes a long way in calming the situation.

As the saying goes, everyone has something to teach us. Unreasonable people show us our own weaknesses and insecurities. Understanding what makes you feel vulnerable or intimated by unreasonable people will help you avoid ever acting like one.  –Mary Jo Rapini

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