Dying For Love

The world of love can scary. We want to trust and to put our heart in the hands of a soul mate.


I am fascinated by high profile murder trials that are in the news. I regularly watch Nancy Grace and other shows that follow the process and break down the strategies of the prosecutor and defense. I find it interesting to learn what is admissable and what will not be allowed in evidence, and the forensic science that can reconstruct a crime is amazing. Unfortunately, many of the victims have been murdered at the hand of their spouse or lover.

The two high profile trials that have my attention at the moment are the Jodi Arias trial and the "Cannibal Cop" Trial.

 Jodi Arias is accused of shooting her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander in the head, stabbing him multiple times, and slitting his throat from ear-to-ear in 2008. Arias says she killed him in self-defense. If convicted of first-degree murder, she could face the death penalty.

 Gilberto Valle, a New York City police officer, apparantly had a taste for human flesh. He was charged with plotting to kidnap, torture, “slow cook” and eat women he tracked down through law enforcement databases. He was living a double life — a married dad and civil servant who moonlighted as a secret psycho straight out of a James Patterson crime thriller, federal authorities revealed.

Valle's wife, Kathleen Cooke Mangan, a school teacher, contacted the FBI after reportedly finding "weird stuff" on her husband's computer last month. This included the "names, photos, dates of birth, heights, weights and bra sizes of dozens of women," as well as a detailed "tactical plan" to abduct, rape, kill, cook and eat victims.

Upon discovering the plan, Mangan immediately fled the state, taking the couple's young daughter with her.

 How well did Kathleen Mangan really know her husband? What a shock it must have been for her to discover his sick plot. Did she ever have ANY signs that he was a sick monster? She was lucky to escape.

We have also heard about Las Vegas resident Mary Kay Beckman who says she ended an 8-day relationship in 2010 with Wade Mitchell Ridley. Months later, she claims he returned and tried to end her life, stabbing her 10 times.

The world of love can be a scary place. We want to trust, to be able to put our heart in the hands of a soul mate. We don't want to feel jaded or overly suspicious. It is important to follow our gut feeling. Looking back, many victims can see (hindsight is 20/20) the signs and remember the feelings that they had that something was off. Something did not resonate within their soul that indicated this relationship might not be a good idea.

I have experienced not listening to my gut. In 1989 I married a  French chef after knowing him for six months. He was not physcially abusive, but he could sure dish out the verbal insults and put downs. He wasn't mature enough to be married, but since my self esteem was low, I just had to have him. My gut said that he was all wrong for me, but I went ahead and forced the relationship. I stayed with him after he had an affair with his best friend's sister who was visiting from France. My self-esteem was at a rocky bottom—I thought. But it turned out that it could go even lower.

My husband's green card came in the mail after we had been married for three years. What a coincidence that an hour after it arrived, he told me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was so distraught that I went up to Sunset Boulevard to a tattoo parlor blaring Gun’s and Roses and subjected myself to modern day torture by having a tattoo engraved on my left hip of a heart with a dagger through it with the words, L’AMOUR. I was a mess. I couldn’t eat or sleep and my heart literally felt as though it had been pierced by a dagger. I was able to convince him to stay with me after that, but why did I want to hang on to someone who didn’t love me? I tried changing my personality to be more “cool” and “easy going.” When he was there with his friends, I even walked around the house as nonchalant as a cigarette dangling from my lips could make me. All I got was a sore throat.
After four more years of tears and anguish, we finally parted for good. I knew that it was best and have never looked back.

Now I listen to my gut feelings about people, in romance and business. Your intution will tell you a lot. Love yourself first.