Spicing Up A Sagging Relationship


Why settle for Sagging when you can have warm and spicy?

Beginning a new relationship holds such promise: your heart races a little faster when the one you love is near; every comment they make is funny, witty, enthralling; you feel like you’re walking on sunshine; you love their dimples; the way they walk; the way they talk; you’re usually willing to overlook any gaffes they make. And then, things get a little . . . old.

Like B.B. King sang so plaintively, “The Thrill is Gone” and you yearn for the times when all was golden. You have feelings for each other, but you find them fading, even as your relationship grows more stodgy and tepid. That “same-ole” - “same-ole” is about to drive you insane.

What to do? What to do?

To learn how to spice up a relationship, think about trying these on for size and see if your relationship not only perks up, but does a 360 degree turn-around.

For the truly adventurous:

Try erotica. There are sex-toy parties galore proliferating the landscape and you’d be surprised at who all attends - business women, church ladies, and your neighbors, Jill and Sue. These are not your grandma’s sex toy parties! And, the merchandise not only overwhelms, but gets snatched up pretty quickly. You are not the only one trying to liven up a stale relationship (and/or perhaps satisfy yourself?) Hmmm?

Share the shower or bubble-bath and add scented candles in the background. There’s something about water and bare skin and lilac candles that just brings out the sexy in you. Think of it, two sudsy wet lovers all aglow and bubbly clean.
Champagne, strawberries and cream. I will let you imagine how many ways these three ingredients go together. Put on your thinking cap and go for it. If you can’t even imagine one way, you are truly, truly on the verge of being stodgy, stuffy and stale.

Get some hints from the Kamasutra. According to Wikipedia, the Kamasutra is considered to be “the standard work on human sexual behavior in Sanskrit literature written by Vatsyayana.” It illustrates:

“Chapters on stimulation of desire, types of embraces, caressing and kisses, marking with nails, biting and marking with teeth, on copulation (positions) . . . . It describes 64 types of sexual acts (10 chapters).”

Pick a new location for romance. Try woodsy romance or better yet, sea shore       romance for a change. Getting your sexy on does not always have to take place in your bed-room at 9:00 pm after the kiddies are all tucked in. On your next vacation, or just for the heck of it, find a nice secluded location, bring along a blanket, champagne and two wine flutes (strawberries, anyone?) and enjoy romance under a moon-lit sky.
Make the room you choose as romantic as possible, with flower petals and a background of soft candle light. Then give your partner a massage and drip warm oil over his/her body. Have a bowl of grapes (and/or strawberries) handy and soak them in honey before you feed them to your lover.

Become Monique, the Maid. This one’s been written about often enough, but apparently it still works. Rent a French maid’s outfit from any costume shop (we’re talking about the tiny, short one worn with fishnet stockings, not the one featured on “The Help.”) Purchase a feather duster and shiny black heels and you are good to go. Wait on your partner hand-and-foot, and he’ll be begging for more.

For the more sedate

Sex isn’t synonymous with romance; they aren’t mutually inclusive. There are a number of things you can try for the sake of romance alone. You may wish to cuddle and share warm feelings, and these ideas will certainly invite loving feelings between you and your partner.

Fix a gourmet meal. Shop for the ingredients together and have a great time in the kitchen producing a masterpiece, or not. So what your tomato sauce is dripping. . . your steak is too charred. It doesn’t matter if neither of you is great at cooking; what matters is that you’re doing this as a team.

Go walking in the evening, hand and hand under the stars. Glance up every now and then and see which stars you can identify. Watch as the moonlight falls across your lover’s face and notice how his/her eyes twinkle.

Try a Boat Cruise  A number of cities have boat cruises that also feature dinner and dancing. Check to see if your town features such an activity and make an evening of it, dancing the night away.

Spa Anyone?  Whisk your partner away to a spa and luxuriate as the two of you enjoy the atmosphere of peace. You need not speak or communicate. Just relax as the two of you share Nirvana.

Start A Love Journal.  Give your partner a journal of poems and loving affirmations, which you wrote, geared toward them. Tell them you love them because . . . . [fill in the blanks]

Record a CD of the music that has defined your relationship. Whether it be jazz or love ballads, or prime time funk, your lover will appreciate your thoughtfulness.
For your anniversary, give your partner the same number of gifts as the years you have been together. For example, if you’re celebrating your fifth anniversary, present your partner with five orchids, or five roses, or five delicate pieces of chocolate. Present a gift five days in a row.

Relationships can be spruced up and spiced up; it only takes a little effort and imagination to flip from stodgy to superb! Work it!

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.