How to Attact a Guy


Naturally and Authentically

What a universal question, and well deserving of great answers. Nevertheless, before becoming overly absorbed in the question of how to attract men, try spending time focusing on what you want in a man – the type of partner you wish to bring along on your adventure in this lifetime . . . his qualities, personality, his focus, etc. Be as specific as possible and write it down.

And, before even thinking along the lines of “who can I attract?”, take the time (however long) to know your “Who.” Your “Who” consists of all those experiences you’ve lived through, your environment, your ideas and beliefs. They all interweave to form that one dynamic individual – you.

Get to know yourself, your requirements, needs and wants. If your goal is attracting the man of your dreams, at least know from the start what those dreams are and have a plan for manifesting them. Keep a notebook and begin jotting down everything you know that goes into making you “Who” you are. Again, be specific. Believe it or not, once you’re in sync with the Universe and have an idea of what you want and how to get it, things seem to “magically” fall into place.

Self Esteem

Self esteem (or the lack thereof) plays a huge role in not only how to attract men, but how to attract anybody or anything. And, unfortunately, the older women become without having attracted an ideal mate, the less likely they feel they’ll ever have someone special to share their lives with.

Women begin to adopt a “lack” syndrome, and feel their personal attraction is shot, they’re not as alluring as they were when younger and far less likely to experience the joy of partnership. I hate to sound repetitive, but again, take the time to cozy up to your “Who.” Know your little “Who-Princess” inside out. If there are issues that need rooting out, now is the time to do it before you meet someone and those unconscious issues reach from seemingly out of nowhere and sabotage a promising relationship.


As much as a number of us would love to look like Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Beyonce or Kate Moss, it’s not going to happen. So, accordingly, show up as yourself in all your glory. As the saying goes, “Do You.” Until you’re comfortable being you, warts and all, you won’t be much of a partner even if Prince Charming were to walk into your life this very moment. Develop your own style, your own look. It doesn’t take very long for people to spot a phony.


The “L” word. Men being men, love “shiny balls,” women who tend to stand out in one way or another. There is something downright unappealing about “drab and frumpy.” If you want to learn how to attract men, look your best - always in public. Your best isn’t my best, nor my neighbor’s best. Your best is unique to you. Do You! -- not Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Beyonce, et al.

Know your body and how to fashionably accentuate it, how to fashionably dress. Yes I said that. However, fashion doesn’t necessarily amount to spending thousands upon a wardrobe. There are thrift stores and consignment shops everywhere with bargains galore. Look PRESENTABLE.  After all, you want a guy who looks their best.

Know the type of man you want and where to find him

If you’re active and want an active partner, for the most part you won’t find him barricaded in a library for days on end. He’ll likely be found at a sporting event or any environment where men congregate and enjoy the company of other men. He’ll be found shooting pool, hoops, a Nascar race, a boating event, etc. Learn the grand art of “Scouting,” as Relationship Coaching Institute (RCI) calls it and investigate locations where the type of man you desire can be found.

Women mistakenly complain about the lack of men, which is so erroneous. Men are everywhere. They’re not where you are, however, because you haven’t known where to find them. Use your investigative skills and research likely venues where men are known to gather.

Law of Attraction 101: BE the partner you are seeking

As RCI so succinctly states: - The Law of Attraction dictates that you will attract a partner who mirrors who you are and where you are in your life. “Like attracts Like” and “What is inside shows up on the outside.” The partner you will find when you are in transition (divorce, career change, relocation, etc) will reflect where you are in your life at that time – which may or may not work out in the long term. The Law of Attraction suggests that single people can maximize the likelihood they will get what they want in their lives and relationships by living the way that they want to live and planting seeds for the future that they want.

If you’re seeking someone who’s charming, sensitive and understanding, check yourself to determine what vibes you’re giving off. If you’ve found yourself attracting “loser” after “loser,” there’s a reason for that. Seek out and eliminate any negative vibes which you may be unconsciously harboring. If you’re not attracting anyone, there’s a reason for that as well. (Refer back to the paragraph on self esteem.)

Be the Chooser

Finally, understand the wisdom behind becoming what Relationship Coaching Institute (RCI) calls “The Chooser.” Women have been conditioned for ages to wait for someone to find them, notice them and pick them. However, from this point on, learn to choose who you want and what you want in your life.

Choosers understand the incredible power in being responsible for their own lives and adding people who bring quality and harmony to it. Choosing involves scouting (venues), seeking (guys with the same values and priorities) and sorting (picking potential winners). These skills taught by RCI are not only thoroughly workable but thoroughly reliable in maximizing the possibility of finding “Mr. Right.”

Happy hunting!

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.