8 Secrets For Surviving Divorce

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Heartbreak, Self

It won't be easy, but you will survive.

I'll tell you a secret too ... I've set up Google calendars for my kids so I can add their important tasks to their calendars. I don't think they actually look at the calendar but that doesn't matter. What matters is they get a text reminder about what it is they need to do. That means I don't have to remember to remind them and I don't get accused of nagging!

4. Prioritize your tasks. If you're feeling unproductive because you can't get through your to-do list, start by asking how realistic you're being about what you expect to get done. Chances are you're treating time as an elastic commodity. Sadly, your available time does not expand with the length of your to-do list so start being realistic  the four hours at home in the evening might only be two hours by the time you allow for getting dinner, doing a load of laundry and getting the kids to bed.

You may also be unrealistic about how much time a task will demand. One of the downsides of multi-tasking is that you don't have a true assessment of the time it takes to do one task and in reality, it might take less time if it was our single focus.

Get in the habit of deciding the one or two things you're going to do each day. Decide these first thing in the morning or even the night before. This makes it a lot easier to be successful. If you do this each day, your successes will quickly mount up.

5. Give yourself credit. Instead of being in a hurry to rush on to the next task that needs doing, take a moment to savor your accomplishments especially if they involved learning a new skill or was something you'd been putting off.

When my ex moved out, I kept a list of each new task I learned ... getting rid of the mouse in the mousetrap, unclogging the toilet, changing the furnace filter and even remembering to put the trash cans out each week. Yes, ours was a fairly traditional division of household chores!

Keeping a tally of these new skills will quickly let you see how productive and capable you really are.

6. Ask for help. We're over that whole super-being movement so you have nothing to prove and especially not now. Now is the time to ask for help  follow my seven rules for asking for help and you won't be disappointed.

7. Learn to say no. With all the changes you're dealing with, now is not the time to be taking on more responsibilities. In fact, now is the time to step back from those volunteer assignments and even some personal activities.

Cutting back on your commitments doesn't have be permanent, it can be just a temporary break. Not only will you have more time, but you'll have fewer things competing for your attention.

You can also apply the "say no" principle to noted time suckers like TV, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest ... You don't have to go cold turkey but what if you gave yourself a time allowance, like just one episode of a specific show or 30 minutes maximum on social media?

8. Feed your soul. Do you know what feeds your soul? Think about the small, little things you enjoy that help to recharge you. Now take the time to do at least one of them each and every day.

It could be as simple as having a cup of coffee on your own in the morning before everyone else gets up. It could be five or ten minutes of meditation mid-day. It could be a 15-minute walk around your neighborhood. Taking a bath? Reading a book? Listening to music?

If you've done the two priority items on your list today, instead of doing another task, feed your soul. If you found a little free time because you asked for help, feed your soul. If you've found more time through saying no, feed your soul.

The real beauty of these eight secrets is that with them, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to face just about anything else that life throws at you.

Mandy Walker blogs at Since My Divorce, a top divorce support blog loaded with tips and recommendations for easing the pain and stress of divorce. Follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.

You can download Mandy's workbook Visioning Your Life After Divorce for FREE when you subscribe to her email newsletter.

Look for her Kindle book, Untangling From Your Spouse: How To Prepare For Your Divorce, on Amazon.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.