Jealousy - How to understand it and let it go

The pangs of jealousy! Sarita reveals it's roots and how to let go of this most painful emotion.

Jealousy is a red hot topic! So many people have asked me in groups and healing sessions over the years how to deal with jealousy, how not to feel it, how to transcend it.

It is good to understand that in fact, if we are jealous of someone, this feeling comes about because we are projecting some un-lived aspect of ourselves onto the person we are jealous about. We are imagining that this person is able to have a level of fulfillment that we are denied. To heal this wound within ourselves, it is wise to ask the question, “if I could do whatever I wanted to right now, what would it be?”

Once you have found out what your underlying desire is, then you can try living it out, as consciously as possible. In this scenario, it is important not to believe you need the other in order to act it out. You can distill your desire to it’s very essence, which means you are going for your core need. For example, if you are jealous of someone who is a gifted musician or painter, ask yourself, how can I express myself creatively? You could take an art class or learn to play an instrument, but be open to whatever answer you get from yourself - your creative expression could take any form - from gardening to baking cakes, to making yourself or others look beautiful or creating a gorgeous bedroom.

By accepting our desires, and acting them out, we will be able to discover powerful lessons and insights which will enhance our clarity, wisdom and compassion. An important key in this is to be total. The more honest we are with our core desires, and the more total in acting them out, the more clarity and transformation will happen. When you are doing exactly what you want, in the here and now with your full passion and creativity, it will be impossible to be in a state of jealousy. You will be so fully alive, so in the flow of who you are meant to be, that you will have no need to project your life force energy on another and compare. You will be in the flow. Jealousy can only exist in stagnation. So if you are having trouble accessing what your core desire is, move and then ask yourself again - dance is always a good way to access your life energy and find out what you truly want.

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