Find out why getting over your ex is easier said than done!
Here's a hard truth; are you ready? There are parts of you that guarantee you will never get what you want most.
Ever said something like, "Part of me is ready to move on from my ex, but part of me can’t stop obsessing about him or her," or “Part of me is ready for a great relationship, but part of me thinks I don't deserve it yet?” 5 Healthy Ways To Break Up With Your Ex
If so, it's because you actually have a lot of "Parts" inside you. Some that are designed to get you what you want most, and others that are designed to stop you from getting those things. You’ve got a myriad of Parts within you. Parts are like worker bees to your queen bee. Each Part works diligently for you, yet each one carries out a differing intention or belief of yours and thus they can be at odds with each other. This very human phenomenon is called a “Parts Conflict.”
The kicker is that most of your intentions and beliefs, especially the ones that feel limiting, are neither created in nor accessible through your conscious, rational brain. If they were, you would already have been able to use your will, your smarts or positive affirmations and mantras to get what you want. You would already have been able to get over your ex, feel great about yourself, get along beautifully with your boss, lose thirty pounds, get out of debt, etc. But for many of the things that you really want, these tactics just haven’t worked, right?
This isn't a design flaw. This is not because you are broken, lazy or stupid. You are actually elegantly designed to be getting exactly the results and experiences you are getting. As bass-ackwards as it may seem, all of your Parts always have an underlying positive intention for you: to keep you feeling safe and secure, feeling loved, feeling like you belong or being the best and brightest you possible.
Parts are cool. They work for you, 24/7. Tirelessly. Ceaselessly. Without thanks, pay raises, office parties, or promotions. When they get a work order, they are there, no questions asked.
All of your Parts have been working tirelessly on your behalf, for the last twenty, thirty, forty or even fifty years. Some Parts came into being a very long time ago, when you drooled more and when your hindbrain (your “reptilian” brain, responsible for keeping you safe and alive) was developing. Some Parts came into being when your mid-brain, or limbic brain (emotions and feelings) was developing. Still, other Parts came into being when your forebrain (your cortex; reason and rationality) was developing.
Parts often work in isolation without knowing there’s a whole slew of other Parts, also working tirelessly on your behalf, for your greatest good. Because they came into being at different times during your development, your Parts often work in isolation, rarely communicating with each other. One Part is busy building you up while another is making sure you don’t get too big for your britches. One Part is busy with your easy self-expression while another is making sure you struggle through life, so you can belong in your hard-working family. It could be said that the inter-office memo system in Parts Land is really shoddy, which is quite confusing and crazy-making for the human, caught in the middle of the Parts Conflict. Chances for your Parts to work together, instead of in opposition, rarely arise. Until now.
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