Open Letter to Men About First Dates


Dear Men,

You may not know any of the following.  So, in an effort to give you all the information you need to understand the complex dynamics of a first date, I’m going to fill you in on a few things.

Before a woman meets you for the first time on a your first date she has probably done the following:

  • Gone to the beauty salon for a haircut and possible color, spending around $100.00, maybe more.
  • Gone shopping for a new outfit worthy of a first date with you, spending another $100.00 or more.
  • She either did her own toenails and fingernails or she got them done.  If she got them done, that was another $50.00. 
  • She has spent two or three hours getting ready for the date doing things ranging from shaving her legs to perfecting her hair and makeup.
  • She has called her best friend for encouragement because she’s nervous and talked for another half and hour.  Her best friend has assured her you’ll be a nice guy.

You might think all this is silliness.  But she did all of it for your first date.  Silly or not, she’s invested a lot of energy in making a nice first impression.   She’s spent potentially hundreds of dollars and hours getting ready.   Knowing she’s put that kind of time and effort in, you could do the following.

  • Shower and make sure you smell nice.
  • Wear something nicer than you would wear to a ballgame with your buddies. 
  • Comb your hair.
  • Show up on time, possibly with flowers.
  • Be nice, to her and everyone else.  Hold doors for her, and pull out her chair.  You know how to do this stuff.  Do it. 
  • For the love of God and all things holy, when the check comes, don’t play games.   Pick it up immediately and pay the bill.

Why?? Because just by default, just because this woman agreed to go on a first date with you, she’s already put more effort into being there than you did into getting your first real job.
Men, if you want to have a successful first date that might lead to a second, put as much effort into the date as she put into getting ready for it. (tweetable!)  It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.