How To Get Your Sexy Back and Why It's Really Important

Love, Self

When a woman quits feeling sexy, the spark in her relationship will fade, and it won't take long.

1.  Know how the game works.   The whole advertising industry is set up to make you think you aren’t good enough.  You’re surrounded by advertising images pretty much all the time.  However, it really helps to understand those images lie.  Almost every image you see that subtly tells you something is wrong with you isn’t real.  Digital retouching and digital thinning is standard practice.   Recently H&M was one of the first fashion retailers to use a “real sized” model for their swimsuit advertisements.  Although that real human sized woman was not digitally thinned, even those photos were retouched in other ways.  It’s not a good idea to compare yourself to anyone else.  However, letting yourself be influenced by media and advertising images of other women, is like comparing yourself to Barbi.  She’s not real and neither are they.

2.  Love the body you have.  This isn’t about the body you use to have or the one you want to have.  This is about treating yourself and your body the way you someone who loves their body now does.  Dress the body you have now.  Feed the body you have now.  Care for the body you have now.  You can relieve a lot of stress by deciding not to wait for a different body to be the person you want to be.  Want to be sexy?  Decide to be sexy and then dress and act accordingly, now.

3.   Do the maintenance.  Whatever it is you need to do to feel your best, do it.  Need to touch up your roots?  Do it.  Need some new cloths?  Get them.  Need a mani-pedi?  Get it done.  Every women has a short but precious list of things she needs to do to feel her best.  You’re worth it right now.  Your relationship may depend on it.  So, the investment of time and money is well worth it. 

4.  Watch yourself talk very carefully.  Many women say things to themselves on a regular basis they wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else.  Without judgement take a week and make a list of the things you say to yourself regularly?  If it’s affirming and supportive great.  If it’s not, make an immediate commitment to turn it around.  Self talk lays the groundwork for self esteem.  Be careful how you speak to yourself because you are listening and it’s affecting you on many levels.

5.  Flirt shamelessly.  In some ways, big or small, most women will gauge how sexy they feel by how much attention they get from men.  Getting attention amounts to being noticed and being flirted with.  It feels good to be noticed.  So, it’s a generous act to notice and flirt with others.  It feels validating.  Cultivating the habit of giving that kind of attention makes it easier to let it and enjoy personally.  When was the last time you really shamelessly flirted with your significant other?  If the answer isn’t today or yesterday, you’ve got some room for improvement that will pay big dividends in how you feel about yourself. Keep Reading...