Confidence is the Best Cosmetic

Confidence is the Best Cosmetic
Buzz, Love

A man wants to be with a woman who enjoys her food, her body, and her life with abandon.

I know a lot of women will not agree with me. I also am aware it might be wishful thinking, but I don’t think so. I have very candid conversations with a lot of men. So, I might be going out on a limb here, but I’m just going to say it.

I believe the vast majority of men would rather be with a real woman, with womanly curves, who is comfortable in her skin and with her body, then a size four model type who is hiding in the dark and under the covers.

Now for those of you who aren’t size four, you might not think a woman of that build has anything to hide. But trust me on this one, there are lots of neurotic skinny girls out there that don’t want to be seen naked and obsess about a couple extra ounces, let alone a couple extra pounds.

A man wants to be with a woman who enjoys her food, her body, and her life with abandon. He wants to be able to see her and touch her. Men are turned on by bodies of all shapes and sizes, but when it comes to personality traits they are especially attracted to confidence.

I am always shocked when I hear a woman who’s been married for three or four years who is still undressing in the bathroom and sliding under the covers before she takes her robe off. Honestly, I don’t know why that surprises me anymore, I hear it a lot and it makes me sad, because both of them are missing something. He’s missing the kind of intimacy that comes with being trusted enough to be allowed to see her. She’s missing any sense of loving the essence of who she really is.

I recently overheard a guy say, “How can I be excited by her body when she hates it and talks about how she hates it all the time?” People tend to think and talk about us the way we think and talk about ourselves. The bottom line is if you have hang-ups about your body, you man doesn’t want to hear about it.

A few months ago when Black Swan first came out a lot of controversy broke about the body type of the dancers. There were several news stories about women trying to starve themselves into that dancers form. I was listening to a radio talk show hosted by men talking about that subject and they took calls from men. Universally the men all said, “Please, eat the hamburger. We don’t want to sleep with you all that bony. It’s not sexy.”

Ladies, naked is sexy. Ease and comfort are sexy. Confidence is the best cosmetic.

Lisa Hayes C.Ht. is the author of the book, How to Escape from Relationship Hell. She is also the host of The Relationship RX Show. For more information and resources about marriage and relationships visit or subscribe to her FREE newsletter Relationship RX.

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