Can't remember or understand what your divorce attorney says? It's not you ... it's divorce fog!
By Laura Miolla — Written on Oct 22, 2013
Bring a Notebook
It might seem simplistic, but one of the best things you can do is write down everything your lawyer says to you. Bring a notebook to all of your meetings and keep it by the phone. If you realize that you don't understand something after the fact, ASK! You have more control over the divorce process when you have a real understanding of what is happening and what your options are. I understand it's difficult to even know what to ask when you are in the divorce fog, so it is even more important to write everything down so you can review it and ask questions later. If you're not writing everything down, you might need to ask your attorney the same question over and over, which means you are increasing their billable hours. In the end, you might not get what you want in the divorce AND still have an inflated attorney bill at the end of it. Who knew the simple, low-tech notebook could be such a powerful tool against divorce fog?
Bring a Friend
Now is the time to accept all the help you can get. In addition to my previous suggestions, it makes sense to bring a friend with you when you meet with your attorney. Your attorney is meant to be your fierce advocate, but truly your fiercest advocate will always be your best friend. Not only will she give you the support you need right now, she can also share her perspective on what happened in the meeting. It's great to have a sounding board who will be listening to what your attorney says from a different context. Plus, you know and trust that she will ask questions that probably never occurred to you before. You know you're not lost in the fog when your best friend is helping to guide the way.
I see divorce fog all the time in my coaching practice and in divorce support groups. It is normal, but if you don't acknowledge and address it, you could get stuck there. Now that you know it's just a matter of brain chemistry, you can do something positive about it!
Contact Laura for your free, 60-minute confidential consultation to help you make better decisions in your divorce, achieve better outcomes and lower the cost. And sign up on my website to download your free MoxieLife Divorce Survival Guide -- where I give you easy action steps for getting off the emotional rollercoaster in your divorce!