Love, Self

Answer these questions,understand the "How?" and Why? of your love life and improve it 100% now.

First experiences of family life in a powerless child’s body often give you a sense of fear and a need to find a safe way to fit in your family environment in order to survive. Often these first experiences create a conditioning background in which you completely or partially lose your sense of wellbeing. At the same time, protection and trust are essential to your development and feeling “at home” in your surroundings and in your body.

As we are being taken care of by our parents, we receive our first lessons in loving, feeling accepted and being loved. While still in our mother’s body - even as an embryo - we receive our first imprints of what human love is all about.

What do you know about love?
Who were your first teachers of love?
Where and how did you receive your first love lessons?
Did you experience any trauma that made you feel betrayed, unwanted, or unloved?
How did you receive an understanding that you need to earn to be loved?
How did you relate to each member of your family separately and together, as a family unit?
What were your defense strategies that helped you protect your sense of self and your innate wholeness?

What kind of traditional relationship roles did you see in your original family?
Even in the most balanced families, children gradually lose their sense of being appreciated for who they are. After all, your parents are only human. They love you, yet they experience all the pressures, fears and responsibilities that come with their roles of being parents, guardians and providers for your physical, emotional and developmental needs. Soon enough these pressures are transferred into you, their child.

If you want to understand your love life, try to answer these questions and notice any of your early life experiences reflected in your love life now. As you grow up their expectations of you grow with you. At some point you may realize that your parents have their own understanding of love that does not match your perception of unconditional (parental) love. Their love expressed through worries, high demands, and desire to fulfill their unmet needs or social ambitions could make you feel confused. But being dependant on their approval and support, you are left with a choice to be disciplined for fulfilling your desires or forget what you really want or who you are in order to be accepted and loved by your family.

Looking for yourself where you are not (in the minds of your friends, parents or other members of your family) becomes a habit that leads you into the next step of separation – trying too hard to fit in the group that may (or may not!) satisfy your longing for unconditional love.

Do you crave attention, security, admiration, acceptance appreciation, praise?
Are you giving up your truth for a sense of belonging and connection?
Are you trying to satisfy your need for caring support, a need to be desired, a need for loyalty and warm human touch?

These habitual behaviors separate you further and further from the state of unconditional love that is your birth right. Falling deeper and deeper out of your connection with the life force energy we call love, you may lose your sense of being safe and worthy of life’s gifts and Divine assistance. To stay away from feeling lost, you begin avoiding these feelings by escaping the present moment, and not trusting your intuition anymore, you start repressing your creativity, avoid sharing your truth and fall out of personal integrity. This makes you disembodied, overanalyzing human machine focused on performing at work, trying to be righteous in your relationships, and becoming more and more controlling and manipulative.

We are often willing to pay a high price for experiencing feelings of love and belonging. But in a process of looking for fulfillment of our basic human needs outside of ourselves, we lose the sense of who we are. This eventually leads us to feeling resentful while participating in unfulfilling relationships with others.


The questions below are intended to help you find and fully express your inner certainty, seniority and truth in the matters of love. The Law of Attraction works its miraculous powers through every relationship you form, teaching you the same lessons of self-acceptance and acceptance of what is again, and again, and again.

You have a choice to stay in the same Earth Drama class forever or move on and graduate from the Earth School of Suffering. Acknowledging that will shift you in seeing your relationships as a puzzle that needs to be solved before moving to the next level of the game. It will help you understand that when you loose your seniority and give your power away, you slow down the process of becoming a self-reliant individual, who is consciously making relationship choices that resonate with your truth.

Working with these questions will allow you to start seeing an underlying theme in every relationship that you create and make choices that support your steady growing progress. This work will help you shift into being able to make choices that support you in cultivation of love and self-empowerment.

Think About:
Can I honestly see what each person I interact with is really about?
Do I allow myself and other people to learn from every experience even if it looks like a mistake?
Do I trust my inner guidance to help me make wise decisions?

You can utilize examples from my list below to assist yourself in shifting from confusion into seeing your world archetypally. This work will allow you to be more balanced in your interactions and do not take things personally, to talk positively and to make choices that support your new language:

Each person in my life has a divine purpose
I am gentle and loving with myself
I love and accept my family for who they are
I am free from any illusions of needing anything from the outside forces
I live easily and joyfully
As I love and serve myself, I love and serve others
As I love and serve others, I love and serve myself

Are you getting the love you want?

Instead of being stuck in a horror story, you can make choices that make your feel Love, Loved, Loving today. Your life is your business, but sometimes you need a good business manager to help you make sense of it.

Are you willing to give up fear, so you can take in love?

I can help you make this positive change. When you find yourself, you find the love you want. You find your TRUE MATCH.

I am passionate about empowering women to find yourself and then find a relationship they desire. Email me at Lana@energy4action.com or all me at 847 414 3730 for your FREE CONSULTATION. Learn how my 6 STEP coaching programs will help you step out of the vicious circle of losing yourself and start loving yourself 100% and creating relationships that MATCH YOU 100%.

Sign up for my free newsletter and download my FREE Love, Loved, Loving CD.