How to Communicate When an Argument is Brewing


The vast differences between men and women...

One of the topics I cover in depth in my workshops is the vast differences between men and women. I’m always amazed at the shock and disbelief my female students express when they realize how much simpler men are compared to women.

Men really are one trick ponies in a sense, operating on one or two tracks at any given time. This is quite different compared to women who are buzzzzzzing on 16 different tracks, emotions and buttons all at the same time.

This creates a wee bit of a challenge for men when they’re attempting to listen and communicate with you. You may not realize this, but most of the time you’re floating outside of your body while you spin more than one topic of conversation in the air at the same time. Men can’t keep up – no wonder you may not feel “heard”, right?

When you’re out of your body and talking a mile a minute, it can be frightening to a man. Men don’t know what to do when a cacophony of words come flying out of a woman’s mouth. Often, they just want to run or just glaze over from information overload.

We women have a zillion things going on in our head about everything under the sun and can’t believe that men don’t have more on their mind than we do. You may find you’re always asking what a man is thinking because you assume there’s as much going on between his ears as you.

Not true!

Honestly, men aren’t thinking about much at any given time. They’re thinking about their next big deal at work, the football game, their car etc… NOT things like: “I wonder if she’s being quiet because she’s mad at me for that thing I did 20 years ago?”

As a woman, you have a large capacity and thrive on this random continual buzz.  Men are the opposite. He thrives when everything is calm and steady state. If you’ve ever spent more than a few days alone in the company of a man you may have noticed on day three or four, things start to go downhill.

Why? If you experience too much “steady state”, your battery gets depleted and – to create some “excitement” – you’ll stir things up.

For example: Have you ever been on a vacation with a past or current partner only to find you’re in worse shape by the time it’s over? This one track at a time stuff can get pretty dull for you and – in an attempt to relieve the boredom – you must create some excitement (often in the form of an argument) as a way to feel the “buzz” again.

The next time you feel a storm brewing or boredom creeping up with a man, follow my tips below to help you get back on track.

1.Take a DEEP BREATH. This will bring you back into your body

2.Ask yourself what you need. It might be a simple hug or, maybe you just want him to listen.

3.Once you know what you need, tell him. This way, he can figure out how to fix it and avoid a big blow up.

**OPTIONAL**Another way to re-charge your ”battery”, is to simply have a conversation with another woman. When women communicate with each other, it releases hormones like dopamine and other “bonding” types of chemicals. Connecting with another woman, even if it’s on the phone, is an immediate stress reliever. This will help you release a lot of the steam, often your upset will completely disappear when you’re done!

Feel Like You're In a Dating Jungle? Grrr… So Frustrating! Sign Up To Receive Your FREE:
5 Part Audio Series "The 5 Essential Steps For Dating Success"

Do you have questions for Kim? Leave a Comment Below.


This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.