In A Relationship? Avoid The Gaslighter

Self, Heartbreak

Subtle and sneaky, gaslighting is common in unhealthy relationships. Learn to recognize it and act.

There are a few key events that happen in gaslighting:

  • When you defend yourself and your ideas, the gaslighter dismisses you as crazy, uptight or irrational. 
  • The cheater/controller/addict first makes you think you may be incorrect and your thinking distorted. 
  • Then he/she gives you his/her version as the truth. You let the other person define your reality for you.

That’s not a relationship, it is a sickness.

Don’t let yourself fall for gaslighting. Here's what to do: 

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  • If your gut is telling you something, then pursue it. 
  • If you doubt yourself, go seek professional help to untangle your thoughts. 
  • Keep a journal of your perceptions so that when your partner explains them away you can review your ideas without pressure. 
  • Don’t let go of friends and outside support. They can be your reality check. 
  • Remember you are not "sensitive" or "crazy" or "uptight" if your reactions are in response to things you see happening. 
  • Recognize this as a power play and defense by the gaslighter to protect him/herself (often from dealing with him/herself.) It isn’t about you; however, it does affect you and it is not healthy. 
  • Get away before you end up in the asylum like Bergman’s character almost did.

Have you ever been gaslighted? Comment below, please.