The Pink Slip

Love, Sex

Are you too busy managing everyone else's schedule to take responsibility for your own happiness?

What would happen at work if…
1. You repeatedly showed up late.
2. You consistently neglected your responsibilities.
3. You ignored your primary tasks because you tried to do everything yourself.

If you committed these infractions at work, your employer would have cause for dismissal.

In my coaching sessions I always ask the question; what is your responsibility?
Most often, women answer the question with a never ending list, citing numerous details, commitments, issues, schedules and bits and pieces that they are responsible for doing for their children, husbands, parents, friends, and organizations. Nowhere in the list do I hear about how they take care of themselves. Nowhere. It’s astounding.

If you abdicated all your responsibilities at work you would be fired, and yet, over and over again women place themselves last on the ‘to do’ list, neglecting to take care of their personal business at hand. Why is it acceptable to do this in your life? This is grounds for the pink slip.

Your number one responsibility is to take care of yourself. The more that you put your own needs aside to take of everyone else’s, not only do you erode your self confidence, but you systematically rob yourself of the opportunities to reach your potential and to enjoy the things that are important to you. In essence, while you believe you are creating happiness by taking care of everything for everyone, you are allowing vast feelings of worthlessness and unhappiness into your own life. When your desires and needs are always in last place, when there never seem to be enough hours in the day, when you are micromanaging everybody’s lives, frankly you are not managing your life in an appropriate manor at all. It’s not productive in any way, not even for the people whose lives you think you are supporting.

When you take responsibility for your own happiness, your relationships will flourish and be abundant rather than difficult and diminished. As you place yourself in a position of priority, you are clearly making a statement that you have value and worth. That is very attractive because it is human nature to be drawn to success.

Kim Ades, MBA is president and founder of Frame of Mind Coaching and JournalEngine™ Software. Author, speaker, entrepreneur, coach, and mother of 5, Kim is one of North America’s foremost experts on performance through thought management. By using her unique process of coaching through journaling, she works with clients to unveil and switch their thought patterns to ignite significant change and life transformation. For a free online journal, visit