The Ho-Hum Holiday


The holiday season can be really tough on relationships and expectations.

The holiday season can be really tough on relationships and expectations. Often the holidays are times when relationship problems become the most evident.
Everywhere we turn is pictures of “perfect” holiday celebrations; these pictures are on movies, commercials, television, in stores, etc. In all, there is a lot of pressure to make everything meaningful. It seems like if we are not like “everyone else”, then our relationships are flawed.
Here are some tips to help you get your relationships through the holidays:
1. Make time for yourself; try not to be so consumed with the stress of the season.
Sometimes the anticipation of enjoying a holiday or a holiday event with someone is so powerful that if our partner doesn’t respond as we think they should, our pleasure in the event is spoiled. Tying up your expectations too closely with another’s, only leads to disappointments. If you need to, do some things on your own-don’t give away your pleasure in things you enjoy to someone else and their moods.
2. Remember the holidays can be depressing.
Whatever issues, failures and problems you have with your partner, remember that the holiday environment can make the lows much lower than other times of year. There’s enough anxiety and unrealistic expectations at this time of year to squelch even the most loving couple.
Finally, here are some great communication tips for this time of year:
1. Hug your partner when you say “hello” and “goodbye”. It feels great and makes your partner feel loved.
2. Be polite to each other. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you can be rude.
3. When you ask your partner a question, make eye contact and listen to the answer. Show them that you are attentive and caring.
4. Make a list of your partner’s positive qualities. Share them and tell them why you think that they are true.
5. Respect each other’s private space. Over time, many couples let this slide. Especially during the holiday season when time is limited.
If you are thinking of ending your relationship, wait till the New Year to re-evaluate your situation. You will have a different perspective and may have averted a hasty decision. January represents renewal and rebirth- and that can also mean your relationship
©Copyright 2010 by Kelly Chicas, LPCC, NCC, CRS. All Rights Reserved.