Want To Bring Sex Back Into Your Marriage? Osculate!


In today's marriages where couples are having less sex, we have to take more time to kiss.

According to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University who has studied sexless marriages, an estimate of about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year. Even more telling was if your marriage was more egalitarian and your husband shared in chores that were deemed feminine in nature, those couples had sex 1.5 fewer times per month than if the husband just focused on male-dominated chores.

Provided there is no medical condition that is causing the problem. I wil always ask couples that I coach if they had lost the art of osculation a.k.a. kissing. It can usually be one of the missing pieces to solving the sexless marriage issue.  If you can somehow revive the lost art of kissing it may lead to other benefits as well. Here are some reasons to consider:

Kissing Improves Your Overall Health

  1. Kissing boosts immunity. A recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says kissing may increase a woman's immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. Otherwise, the bug is relatively harmless in adults. Kissing has long been thought to be a way to pass along bugs and thus strengthen the body's defenses. With the extra saliva generated from kissing it can wash bacteria off your teeth, which can help break down oral plaque.
  2. Kissing helps you solidify why you picked your mate in the first place. Anthropologist Helen Fisher describes kissing as a "mate assessment tool." Discover Your "Type" (It Really Exists)!

Much of the cortex is devoted to picking up sensations from around the lips, cheeks, tongue and nose. Out of 12 cranial nerves, five of them are picking up the data from around the mouth. It is built to pick up the most sensitive feelings—the most intricate tastes and smells and touch and temperature.

And when you're kissing somebody, you can really hear them and see them and feel them. So kissing is not just kissing. It is a profound advertisement of who you are, what you want and what you can give. Since kissing has been lacking in the sexless marriage it might also cause you to question why you chose this person to marry.

  1.  Kissing burns calories! Depending on different reports, anywhere from 2 to 6 calories a minute.

Kissing Can Persuade Your Partner!

  1. Being an overall good kisser can persuade your partner to get between the sheets instead of remaining on top of the sheets.
  2. Good kissing bring back feelings of bonding and attachment too. Sharing a passionate kiss can re-create and maintain a feeling of connectedness in relationships.
  3. Good kissing can also lead to arousal and sex. Passionate make-outs are often necessary (and effective) precursors to further physical intimacy.

Good Kissing Requires You To Brush Up On Your Elements!

  1. As so aptly portrayed in the movie Hitch, you've got to be all in. Both men and women also found assertiveness attractive in a kisser. 

  1. Touching, caressing, and general physical activity can lead to more deeper passionate kisses.
  2. Get back to the basics! Closed-mouth kissing initially, with minimal saliva exchange (especially for women). Soft, moist lips were preferable—but a drooling, tongue-down was not. Over time, kissing could work up to greater "passion" and "intimacy."

In the end if you want to bring sex back to your marriage. How do you feel about kissing?

More kissing advice on YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.