Photo: Photo by Jordan Bauer on Unsplash
Get him back, girl.
By Katarina Phang — Written on Sep 22, 2017
So you're separated, but you're still in contact. And you can tell that feelings are still raw. You can see in their eyes how much they still find you attractive and yearn for you. If you have the right mindset, the separation from your ex could be a fun experimental ground for you to practice your seduction skills. You know why?
Because your ex is someone who shares history with you. They fell in love with you once (in other words, they were seduced by you whether or not you meant to do it), and in all likelihood, the feelings are still there if buried under all the problems you both had as a couple.
Related: 14 Quotes That Profoundly Describe How Much Breakups SUCK
In fact, it's easier to seduce an ex, and try to get your ex back than seduce a new person for the reason I mentioned above. All you need to do is to forego those needy vibes and be someone who's so totally absorbed to enjoying life being in one's own body.
You need to be bold, adventurous, and exciting. And you need to possess that could-care-less flair. This will drive your ex crazy over you — and that's how they'll fall in love with you all over again.
In fact, my clients and book readers practice what I suggest. And not only do they have their exes back, they also get them to commit! They lean back and move on. By being emotionally free they become so attractive to their exes. Leaning back is extremely seductive and feminine, it creates an invitation without resistance.
Here are three tricks to help ease the path of your reconciliation:
1. Gain a new skill
Why? What does it have to do with ex-seduction?
Everything.
When you were dumped, your self-esteem hit rock bottom. You need a lot of time and processing to get back where you were before the breakup, and that often didn't say much because you were perhaps plagued with low self-esteem to begin with, and that's why you broke up in the first place. One quick way of regaining self-esteem is learning a new skill and applying it with tangible/measurable results.
The whole process of learning is also a very positive and soothing distraction. When your brain rarely shuts down and chatters 24/7 about your ex, the few hours spent worrying about other things are really so very precious and addictive.
The more you learn, the more you see results, the more you cultivate self-love and the less you care about your ex.
That's the most productive and effective way of "getting over" an ex, hands down.
So what skills can you learn? There is a lot you can do depending on your passion, interests, aspirations, ambitions, etc...
In my case, I'm learning the rope of utilizing the incredible and infinite power of the internet to disseminate my message of hope and redemption in a time of severe personal crisis like you're going through to as many people as possible. This is my calling now. And I can be really absorbed in this newly found passion to the extent that nothing else seems to matter.
If you can be at that stage, you are practically "over" your ex, and seducing him/her back is only a matter of time.
2. Reappear in their life with fanfare.
When you have rebounded from your self-esteem crash and are ready to take on the world, you can make you red-carpet entrance to your ex's life again. And you won't even have to force your way because most likely he'll invite you in with all doors open. So now you can sashay in with fanfare and all eyes on you.
They'll find you mesmerizing again. You seem not just okay, but exceedingly content after the breakup. What gives? Now they feel like they have less power than they thought they had. Now they want to see you more thanks to the magnetism you radiate. You have transformed yourself into a desirable person who seems to have it all — and a bunch of admirers so they have to fight to get your attention.
And you will give them attention, not too much or too little, but just enough for them to yearn for more with the expectation they will indeed get more the next time(s) you're together.
Related: 17 Powerful Breakup Anthems That Scream 'F*ck You' When You Can't
3. Treat them the way they treat you.
You don't withhold affection when they're being affectionate with you. You will reciprocate it. Savor the sweetness of being in each other's company. You will not act ugly in any way, shape, or form.
When they withdraw, you will do the same. Give them the space they need so they will miss you again.
When they're doing something that doesn't sit too well with you, you will let them know by ignoring them. When they show remorse, you will reward them with your warmth — just enough that they will know that they will need to show an effort to win your affection.
Familiarity breeds contempt. Always wear an aura of mystery. Be a little unpredictable in your response, but not too much you become erratic and more like a loose cannon. You want to appear as someone who is in charge of his/her happiness, yet soft enough to be vulnerable every now and then.
You attract and intrigue with the strength of your courage and self-confidence, and you emotionally bond with them with the tenderness of your vulnerability: when you open up and express your deepest feelings, longing and fear — everything that makes you human.
Those are a lethal combination that will make your ex latch to you and never let go, again.
Katarina Phang is a dating and relationship coach at katarinaphang.com. If you are itching to learn how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man from a coach responsible for one one engagement/week, check out her e-book 'He's Really That Into You, He's Just Not Ready'.
