When He Says He's Not Ready

When a man says “I’m not ready for a relationship,” you can pretty much bet it’s that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. I know this is hard to hear, and that there are exceptional cases, but as a rule I suggest you take this in as fact.

I don’t believe in timing, although it sounds great and yes, we all hope a relationship will drop into our lap at the perfect time, I think when its “right,” it’s simply right and time is a non-issue.

I’ve worked numerous men, who will tell a woman they don’t want a relationship, and yet remain fully open to having sex with her. I share this because you need to know that his choosing to have sex with you or to continue to have sex with you beyond his declaration of “no relationship” does not mean he will necessarily change his mind.

Men put women into two categories: Women they only want to sleep with, and women with whom they want to sleep and have a relationship. Men typically decide this within the first few dates.

It’s key that before you sleep with a man, you get clear about where he stands on this --because sleeping with him will not affect how he feels about you relationally. Of course, there are rare exceptions.

If a man wants you for more than sex, he won’t mind waiting until the emotional bond has deepened and there is a foundation of mutual affection and caring. In fact, he will likely welcome that slower, heat-building kind of interaction.

By Karen Brody, Copyright 2010
"The Love and Intimacy Coach"

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