Non-Monogamy, An Alternative?

Non-Monogamy, An Alternative?

Let’s talk today about open marriages.

I have strong opinions about this because this is the idea that began the breakup of my 29-year marriage so I’ll try to stay objective.

Intellectually, how could we want to deny our partner any source of happiness? That was my struggle. But my heart and my gut said no $#%@ way. It seems the only reason two people would want to join as an exclusive couple, other than to create a family for child raising, would be to experience the deepest love possible. Only time and a true knowing can allow that depth to occur.

I’ve talked with several couples who tried open marriages and they all said it didn’t work.

They said either the love withered or jealousies and insecurities made it intolerable.

They said the outside sex took their energy, interest, and focus.

They were not emotionally available to deepen the love with their primary partner.

If we can’t stay open to our partner, if we begin to shut down, we’re defeating the whole purpose of being in a loving relationship. One of the main ways we build that deep love is being open, trusting, and sharing who we really are.

What are your thoughts on this topic?

From my heart to yours,
Kara Oh

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