Why is playing with power sexy?

Buzz, Self

Want to explore domination & submission? This hot '50 Shades' theme can be a new sexual adventur

A sexy way to explore light kinky play is to use erotic control in the bedroom. You might be asking…what does that mean? Erotic control is when one partner “gives up” control to the other partner. In the BDSM world this is called domination & submission and with the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey it’s obviously something that a lot of women are interested in! This dynamic can be explored in any direction though, it’s also a fantasy for many men to be controlled in a sexy way by their partners.

Ok, so now that we’ve established that anyone can enjoy erotic control, on either side of it….it’s time to get down to the why’s and how’s! First we’ll start with the ‘why’. Frankly I think the ‘reason’ for the desire to submit or control doesn’t really matter all that much. Maybe you want to feel more empowered in the bedroom by really taking control. Perhaps you desire giving up control to get some relief from always being in charge. Or it could be just because you think it’s hot! For some couples, using erotic control is hot every time you have sexy time. Many like to only play with it occasionally to switch things up.

It’s important to set certain boundaries before trying this, at least if you want it to be success!! Before you just jump into it during sexy time, make sure you talk first. Knowing what you’re each comfortable with will make the actual experienced much more relaxed and fun. Whether you’re going to be the dominant partner or the partner that’s submitting it’s vital that you know what limits need to be respected. Both partners need to be vocal about what you find erotic and what will turn you off. This could be activities, so that the dominant partner doesn’t “force” something that the other partner doesn’t want to do. Also, words can be very powerful. Talking about the kinds of words you like and those you don’t will keep your power play adventure a positive experience. Also you should both agree when the dominant & submissive dynamic begins and ends. If it’s just in the bedroom, for that one night, be clear about it.

Now on to the “How”! There are a lot of levels and techniques you can use to explore erotic control. I recommend starting light and playful until you know what both of you enjoy. This is supposed to be fun & sexy!

If you’re the partner submitting, it can be as simple as agreeing to do ‘anything’ that your partner commands (within the limits that were established, as described above!). Focus on what gives your lover pleasure and being willing to accept instruction positively. Remember that this is only for the agreed upon time and try to enjoy not having to worry about doing anything but what you’re told!

As the dominant, you can try using a special endearment when your partner is giving you full control. Try “human sex toy” or just “sex toy” or “erotic robot” or even “sex doll”. Be firm in telling your partner how to pleasure you. Don’t yell or sound mean, instead sound strong and confident. For this period of time you are in control and you get to direct the sexual connection!