Man Installs Middle Finger On His Porch, Points It At Ex-Wife


Is creating a large middle finger statue the solution to any problem?

Not sure if you heard, but a Michigan man, strip club owner Alan Markovitz, built a 12-foot high middle finger statue pointing directly at his neighbor, who is also ex-wife. Alan recently bought the next door property and promptly erected the obscene statue on his back porch as a testament to what he thinks of his ex-wife’s new relationship. You can read the entire article here.

I guess this new erected statue replaces a much smaller erection Alan would occasionally reveal when they were married. The ex-wife has a new lover, now she can have the satisfaction of enjoying erections from her current relationship and her past relationship, two birds for her. One erection will get eroded over time through rain and weather, the other pronounced and stronger with Viagra pills. Isn't life really all about perception?

Alan owns a few strip clubs in the Detroit area, so I assume he has much experience installing things vertical and tall, which women either love or hate. If his employed strippers come visit his new home, they can practice their moves on this new progressive dancer pole. I'm sure his ex-wife, watching from the window, will not have dollar bills to throw, hurling fastball speeding pennies and nickels instead.

Most men want to get as far away from their ex-wives as possible, but I guess in Michigan you buy the house next door and spend thousands on an obscene statute. No wonder Michigan is having such hard times. If they handle their relationships and politics the same, by wasting a lot of money, they shouldn't wonder why things are so difficult for their state.

Someone should tell Alan there is a very easy solution that can hide the message he's trying to send his ex-wife. It's called a curtain. They sell them for $15 at Target and Wal-Mart. Put one of those up, and her problem is solved. She'll say “you say something outside is giving me the finger? Where? I can't see anything because of this thick black curtain.”

Installing a massive statue is a lot of work. Why put yourself through that when you can hire someone from Fiverr.com or Craigslist to hold up an actual middle finger for $5 every day. Michigan is having massive employment issues. I'm sure for very cheap he could get someone to wait patiently outside and scare his ex-wife every time she walks outside, "Hey, this is what your ex-husband thinks of you!" and then give her the middle-finger. Run back into the woods. That's a much stronger message than a $10,000 statue that can be forgotten with curtains. Likewise, the guy from Fiverr, could be persuaded to install the curtains with a $10 upgrade. See Michigan, this is how you create jobs and deal with problems.

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