How To Have A Grown-Up Valentines Day

grownup valentines day
Love, Self

No more Valentines Day chocolates doesn't have to mean your romance is over.

All of this brings us back Valentines Day, and how to spend it celebrating your relationship in a grownup way. I'm certainly not suggesting overlooking the holiday and watching TV in your sweatpants, like the old couple next door. But you don't need flowers and jewelry and other traditional things to have a grownup Valentines Day either.

As your relationships grows, you'll find the gift that really means something is often not the kind you can buy with money. As a couples' therapist, I know for instance that most women feel loved when they are listened to attentively (guys like this, too, by the way). So set apart some special time to talk to each other about your struggles and dreams and what matters most to you.

Ask your partner questions like, "What does that mean to you?" or, "Did you expect that?" and acknowledge when your partner sounds relieved or worried, anxious or angry. Show solidarity and encouragement, such as "we will figure this out together — you're not alone in this!" Showing genuine interest in each other, without being afraid of the response? Now, that's romantic.