One of the biggest complaints I get from
women (and men) in long term relationships is that the sex has become either stale
or non-existent. There are lots of
reasons for this: busy lives, children,
work related travel, and the fact that the more intimately you know someone,
the harder you have to work to maintain an erotic edge.
I thought I’d give some tips to spicing up
your sex life in a few easy steps. First
let me assure the women reading this that there is virtually nothing you’d be
willing to do that would seem too freaky to your man. Something that would stretch you to the
limits of your freakiness will be a pleasant and erotic surprise for your
partner. Men have a much higher
tolerance for wild sex than most women, so don’t be intimidated to try
Here are some tips:
Schedule some play time. I know it doesn’t feel sexy to schedule
sexual play, but if it’s a priority for you, you need to make sure you can fit
it into your busy life. Many years ago
my partner and I designated Sunday as “oral day”. Somehow, mysteriously, our friends found out
about it. Instead of being embarrassing,
it gave us an easy “out” if we were invited somewhere on a Sunday and we didn’t
want to attend.
Remember: men are very visual. And they’re pretty straightforward. Revealing body parts that are typically
hidden will do it every time. If that’s
too scary, lingerie offers a fabulous prop.
And high heels are another great prop; especially if that’s all you’re
You are hundreds, if not thousands of
times more critical about your body than your husband is. Low lights might help you feel more
confident, but I guarantee that any sexual advance you make will FAR outshine
any extra weight you may have gained since your wedding. Stop worrying about it!
Don’t be afraid to tell him what you
want. Not only do men find it sexy to
have a confident woman letting them know what she likes, but they also love to
hear you talk “dirty.” When you’re
talking like this, you want to encourage what they’re doing right rather than
tell them what they’re doing wrong. You
don’t even have to use sexually explicit words to turn him on, either. A simple, “I like it when you touch me like
that” will do. I often say, “I don’t
know what you’re doing to me, but please don’t stop!”
Next time I’ll offer some ways to stretch
even more outside your sexual comfort zone, so your sex life becomes better
than it’s ever been.