Consciousness and Sexuality

Love, Heartbreak

I recently went to the Museum of Sexin NYC and saw an exhibit about the sex life of animals.  Of the many fascinating facts I discovered, the most surprising was that of all the animals scientists believed to be monogamous, none really were.  Many had long term socially monogamous partners, but the sex was a free for all.  Using DNA testing, scientists determined that up to 97% of all offspring in supposed monogamous relationships were created by EPC, or extra pair coupling. 

Then last week Newsweek ran an article about polyamory, featuring a group of two women and three men who were managing to have a number of relationships between them. One of the women lived with two of the men and was legally married to one of them, and the other was married to the third man.  They spoke openly about what was necessary for it to work, and I was struck by how conscious they all seemed to be.

It got me thinking about consciousness, sexuality and relationships.  Most of us are not ready for the honesty, transparency and humility that are necessary to make polyamory work.  When I say humility, I mean being able to look at your own jealousies and insecurities with a gentle eye and a willingness to speak your truth with love.  It takes a really conscious person to be willing to expose themselves in that way. The group interviewed by Newsweek spoke at length about the insecurities that arise and how everyone deals with them.

Some would say that with that much consciousness, a person would be more inclined to be monogamous.  That’s one possibility, and is more socially acceptable than polyamory.  To play devil’s advocate for a moment, at a certain level of consciousness the awareness arises that we are all one, and that love is all that’s real.  When this awareness lodges in your entire being rather than just being a thought in your brain, perceptions shift.  Societal norms become less important and the desire to judge others disappears. 

We can’t pretend that we’re innately monogamous as a species.  Some of us are more inclined toward monogamy than others, but our level of consciousness does not dictate an inclination for or against monogamy. At lower levels of consciousness, people have affairs.  At higher levels, they consider an open relationship or polyamory.