Was Missing Maryland Woman a "Wounded Deer"?


Was Robyn Gardner a prime candidate to be taken advantage of?

Robyn Gardner, a 35 year old Maryland woman, has gone missing in Aruba. In a case that is going to immediately bring about a comparison to the disappearance of Natalee Halloway, I think it is important to use this tragedy as a valuable learning experience so you can date smarter and decrease the chances of putting yourself in harm’s way.

First of all, this is a tragedy. The first thing we must understand is that a woman is missing. And although there is always hope I’m afraid things don’t look good. If you are not familiar with the story, Ms. Gardner went on a trip to Aruba with a man she met online about a year ago. According to reports Ms. Gardner was not in a relationship with the man she was traveling with.

Unfortunately the man she was traveling with had a sordid past, he has a criminal record and has had at least two orders of protection taken out against him from women who claim he was violent toward them. So, obviously he is no boy scout.

I’m not one to judge people and how they live their lives, but why was Ms. Gardner, who had a boyfriend, traveling to Aruba with another man? And then lying to her boyfriend about her trip?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Online dating can be a great place to meet the love your life. But it also is no different than dating in the offline world. There are some guys who have ulterior motives and who aren’t upstanding citizens.

If you are going to do online dating, it is important that you do so with your eyes and ears open. Don’t let your emotions get in the way and cloud your judgment.

One of the most common mistakes I see many single women make is ignoring or not picking up the red flags. You see, a shady character is going to act shady. He is going to say or do things which you know aren’t right. It is only when you ignore these signs that you will get yourself into trouble.

There is an old expression that says “common sense isn’t necessarily so common”. Well when it comes to dating and how our emotions often take over, common sense often gets thrown out the window.

It is why I suggest to my Smarter Dating members that they follow the one week rule before meeting a guy they find online. I suggest that a woman e-mails back and forth and talks on the phone at least twice over a period of a week before going out and meeting him.

More often than not just by taking a few days and communicating you get to see (and hear) a person’s true colors.

Does he call when he says he’s going to call? Does he sound or act like he is hiding something (if he does he probably is!) and does he sound like the type of guy that you are looking for?

The more you pay attention the easier it will be to discover if the guy you are pursuing is the type of guy you are looking for.

There are some men out there who know what to say and what to do to take advantage of women. They tell them what they want to hear and they know exactly what to do. But here is the most important thing to understand, these men will often run away when they know that a woman is on to them and isn’t willing to buy their B.S. Why? Because it becomes too much work and they know that they won’t get away with it.

More often than not they simply move on to find another victim. In fact there is a terminology that many of these men use. It’s called the “wounded deer”. Just like it is easy to shoot a deer that is wounded out in the wilderness, it is easy for these jerks to take advantage of women who are emotionally wounded and desperate.

I find it interesting that Ms. Gardner had lost her job and was reportedly fighting with her boyfriend prior to her trip. Two things which would make her upset and allow a man to say and do things to take advantage of her emotional state.

Just put yourself in her shoes. You lost your job, you are fighting with your boyfriend when a guy comes along and promises you a week of fun and sun in Aruba. Sounds like the perfect escape doesn’t it?

And I think this is where Ms. Gardner went wrong. Because this is exactly the types of things that these dirtbags look for.

The good news is if you show a man that you are a strong and smart woman he will simply move on to find the next victim.

And unfortunately it is women like Robyn Gardner who always pay the price.
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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.