Are You Ready To Stop The Insanity?


This article explains why your dating choices may be insane

If you were alive in the 80’s and you were out of diapers you probably remember an infomercial with Susan Powter. Back then Susan was the queen of the infomercial. There wouldn’t be a day that went by where you wouldn’t see her face screaming back at you while yelling “Stop the Insanity”. Susan was all over the TV hawking her weight loss and fitness products.

Susan’s pitch was no matter how much you want to get fit if you keep making unhealthy choices you will continue to struggle with your weight. Well, no matter how much one may have found Susan and her approach annoying or even too confrontational she was speaking the truth.

The other day when I was thinking about possible titles for this week’s material I suddenly had a thought flash and Susan Powter’s name popped into my head. Now I haven’t seen or heard anything about Susan Powter in well over 10 years. Honestly, I don’t know if she is alive or dead.

But I understand why out of the blue, her name popped into my head.

You see Susan’s mantra doesn’t just apply to losing weight. It applies to almost every aspect of our lives. As human beings we are fascinating creatures. We say we want to lose weight but the very next second we’ll pick up a donut and eat it. And as soon as we eat it we come up with all type of excuses.

We come up with a myriad of rationalizations and justifications as to why we had to eat that donut. Everything from it being our parent’s fault for passing us bad genes, to a slow thyroid, to eating for stress.

And what’s more interesting is we actually believe these lies.

The simple truth is if you are overweight it is because you make poor choices when it comes to eating well and exercising.

I know. I’ve struggled with weight most of my life. In fact, I put on over 10 lbs this summer. But I don’t blame anyone or anything for my weight gain. Why? Because it was my fault. I like to eat, always have and always will.

Most people lose weight in the summer, but not me. With all the barbecues, ice cream and eating out it is very easy for me to make poor choices.

So, what does this have to do with dating?

Well, last week was an insane week. In fact I am calling it “insanity” week. Why? Because almost every woman I spoke with, coached or e-mailed was making poor choices in their love lives and then coming up with some B.S excuse to rationalize and justify their choices. Fortunately for those I worked with they were able to see the error of their ways and get back on course. They may have shed a few tears but they were able to make the tough decisions and get back on track.

But unfortunately those who don’t have someone to hold them accountable and to coach them though the trying times, continue to make choices which are in direct contradiction with what they really want…a happy and fulfilling relationship with a man who treats them with the love and respect they desire.

You see you can’t have a happy and fulfilling relationship with a man if you date a guy who makes you unhappy.

Just like you can’t get fit if you don’t eat well and exercise, you can not experience the ease and fulfillment of a great relationship if you only date guys who leave your love tank a lil empty.

You deserve better. You know you do. But how are you ever going to experience that happy and fulfilling relationship you desire if you keep making poor choices in your love life?

I say this not to upset you but to get you out of your own way. Because having that relationship you desire isn’t as hard as you think. But if you continue to make insane choices it will be impossible.

I often joke with my Smarter Dating clients that I am going to invent one of those electrical shock collars, the same types they use for dogs. However this one will be designed for women. Every time you make a poor choice in your love life it will give you a moderate electrical shock. It won’t kill you but it will definitely get your attention.

I would much rather see you experience some short term physical pain than the long term emotional heartache you put yourself thru by continuing to make poor choices.

The reason Susan Powter was so passionate about weight loss was because at one time she was severely overweight. She knew what it was like to be out of shape, to feel bad physically and mentally. But she also knew that it was possible to lose the weight and keep it off.

Well, that is exactly how I feel about finding true love and having that special person to share your life with. There was a time where I was out of shape in my love life. Where I kept making poor choices ( I was 30 days away from marrying one). I know what it is like to give and give and not have your own needs met. I know what it is like to think dating is so hard and there are no good ones left.

But I learned I was WRONG. The only reason it was hard was because I made it hard.

I soon learned that it can be easy and fun. And once I discovered how to date smarter I was able to find my best friend and partner for life in less than 3 months.

Now if you’re like most you will say that I was lucky and I was in the right place at the right time. But I find it quite ironic that for 14 years I struggled in the dating and relationship department but once I learned to “date smarter” things magically turned around. I was finally able to have what I was always looking for.

One of the many things I have learned in my journey is that no one person is more lucky than the other. We all make our luck. My luck only changed when I started making smarter better choices and decisions.

Coincidence? You tell me.

Like Susan, I now understand what it is like to be on both sides of the fence. And that is why I am so passionate. I wish I would have had someone years ago to get in my face and show me how to make better and smarter choices. It would have saved me a lot of time and heartache.

The truth is that you can and will have the man and relationship you desire, no matter what your past has been like.

But the only way to make it happen is to do some things differently. Because if you don’t do anything differently you will continue to experience the same results in your life.

You deserve the best but the only way it’s going to happen is if you make it happen.

The key to life is to do things smarter, not harder!

If you are struggling in your love life and you're noticing that when it comes to men, dating and relationships your decisions are insane I would like to invite you to follow us at And while you're there, make sure to grab a free copy of my e-book: The ABC's of Smarter Dating:26 Tips & Strategies to Immediately Improve Your Love Life

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.