Should A Woman Offer To Pay On A First Date?

My recent first date with Mr. Awkward was seemingly going well. We exchanged playful banter and he even used the “flirtatious foreshadowing effect” – insinuating that on our next date, we should check out a place near his hometown. I would have bet all my money that a second date was inevitable. Then the bill came. I innocently offered to contribute and he stuttered through accepting my offer, tossing me the check and mumbling that I can give whatever I want. As Mr. Awkward bolted to the bathroom, I wondered if he was insulted or simply surprised that I offered to pay. Either way, he accepted my portion of the bill but the vibe of the date certainly shifted.

I left the date confused and in need of consultation. Some friends declared that a woman should never offer to pay their share on a first date while others argued that to keep quiet while your date whips out his credit card is no less than rude and assuming. Admittedly, my actions always wane in the middle. I offer but then silently stew if my offer is accepted, complaining to my friends, “Can you believe he let me pay?”

So what is the right answer? Do you stick to your first date ideals and allow your date to cover your share or do you sweetly reach for your purse and hope that Mr. Chivalrous will stop you mid reach?

I would ask Mr. Awkward but he took my money and ran - probably spending it on the next lucky girl who isn’t foolish enough to say a word.


This article was originally published at The Hope Full Romantic Dating with Optimism. Reprinted with permission from the author.