The Right Way To Say, “I’m not Interested.”


Boy meets girl. Boy promises to call girl. Boy disappears. Sound familiar? Nobody likes this story, yet it is recurring on the bookshelves of our lives everywhere. And this tale knows no gender limits. Girls are ignoring their perplexed dates at high frequencies too because it is all too easy for all of us to pretend our dates’ feelings have vanished with our manners.

After falling victim to the post date blow off, I vowed to reject that particular form of rejection. The next lackluster date did not have to guess my intentions. He asked for a second date (via text) and I sent back my candid answer:

Me - “I had a nice time but I do not feel a dating connection between us.”

His response - “Thank you for your honesty.”

The end.

It really wasn’t that hard, like at all. And karma later rewarded me with a first date’s follow up “let’s be friends” text that informed me that while my date was not interested in dating me, he did respect my time.  He saved me seconds, minutes and hours of wondering if/when a second date would occur. Respect your fellow singletons out there and follow these rules to the right rejection:

1. Don’t leave your date with false promises to call. You may feel like you are being nice in the moment but when your pants are on fire, somebody’s going to feel burned.

2. Do be sensitive – no need to pick your date apart, a simple declaration of your disinterest will do the trick.

3. Do remember, rejection is inevitable in the dating game. If you find yourself on the receiving end of somebody’s spark-less candor, shake it off and look forward to the date that clicks for both of you.