Waiting For Superman? Don't Hold Your Breath

Dating Advice For Ladies With Unrealistic Expectations

Be realistic.
Seems obvious, right? Wrong! (See list at beginning of this article). I can't tell you how many women I've worked with over the years who have been in search of love and, when we get to their list, have the most unbelievable requirements for Mr. Right. Usually I assume that their list has been influenced by past heartbreak, romance movies and some crazy self help book they read. Bottom line: If you want a REAL relationship and REAL love, then you must be REAListic in your search. This doesn't mean you have to compromise; it means you must decide what you value most, versus what might be "icing on the cake".

Take your own inventory.
That's right. Is your list representative of things you, too, can bring to the table? If one of your deal breakers is that he always brings you your favorite flowers on Wednesday, are you willing to always let him play online video games for 3 hours on Saturdays? If you are looking for perfection, are you saying that YOU are perfect? Hint: the answer is NO, no one is perfect.

I don't care if you spend every waking moment of every day of your whole life trying to be perfect, it's not gonna happen. You are human. Everyone poops. Everyone gets a zit now and then. And everyone has flaws. If you don't have a single flaw, then you may want to call the Mothership to come get you... because I think you are lost and on the wrong planet.

Are you really looking for love or are you playing it safe?
Sometimes my clients are looking for someone that's so spectacular they subconsciously know he doesn’t exist. It's a defense mechanism many women use to keep themselves safe from heartbreak. "If he doesn't fit my list then I can dump him, and avoid getting my heart broken." In order to find someone, you have to be open to vulnerability. You'll get nowhere fast if your expectations of a partner are so outrageous that only a computer-generated program could possibly meet them (Come to think of it, maybe there's an app for that!). To combat this I highly recommend working on your list to make sure it's reality based. I have a formula I use with clients (and myself!) to ensure "The List" is realistic and tailor-made to fit each person's unique wants and needs, without being unattainable.

Ladies, I'm not saying Prince Superman isn't out there, but maybe he doesn't look exactly like what you think he's going to look like. Maybe he'll fit your criteria but it will be in a different package. Keep an open mind, an open heart, and please, put down that fairytale storybook. Nobody rides a white horse to work anymore.