Rosè Is Not Self-Care

Family, Love

Numbing out vs. Filling Up

Life moves quickly and comes at us hard. We often find ourselves being "on" until we have nothing more to give and then shutting off anyway we can. We all have shut off rituals - maybe it's reality tv, dark chocolate or social media, a distraction where, for a few minutes, you don't have to be anything to anyone and can just numb out. Andy Cohen and Bravo totally get it. Netflix and comfy pants pair nicely with wine. The problem is, numbing out is not the same as filling back up.

No one can be "on" all the time

It's normal and natural to need to shut down and log off. No one can be "on" all the time. But there is a middle ground between "on" and "off" and if you don't know what this looks like that's a problem. Do you take time to slow down, sit still and check in with yourself, or do you just go until you have nothing left to give?

Self-care 101

Self-care is all about recharging, refilling and restoring your energy. What do you do that brings you joy, calm and connection? Can you create a daily ritual or practice of self-care? For some this is journaling, exercise or meditation. Here are a few other ideas: read a book, garden, listen to music, connect with a friend, spend time outdoors, sit in a cafe for an hour (not on your phone) or take a long shower.

A key distinction

We all need to shut down and numb out sometimes, but try not to confuse this with self-care. There is a difference between pressing pause and giving ourself a break versus nurturing yourself and your wellbeing. Filling up a glass is not the same thing as filling yourself back up.

Jessica Lyons is a writer, relationship expert and psychotherapist. She has a private clinical practice and offers intensive retreats for individuals and couples in the Greater Boston area.