How To Recognize The Woman From Hell Before You Fall In Love!

Love, Self

Finding the right woman can be as tricky as walking through a field full of mines.

I love my girlfriends.  I really do.  Some I’ve had for over 20 years, others I’ve recently added to the mix and they just seem like I’ve known them that long!  So, it’s pretty safe to say, I know women and I would even go as far as to say, I love women.

With that said, I would be the first to warn any man out there looking to meet The Woman of His Dreams, to take note – Women are just as good at hiding their personal idiosyncrasies (‘flaws’),  as your best buddy is every time he tries to impress the ladies at those hip parties he always inviting you to!

Just like men, women don’t like to be judged too prematurely.  They want you to give them a chance, for you to see why they get upset at the waiter, or why they need to have that exact purse, at that exact moment, etc., etc..  Some women have their reasons for seeming to be the B— from Hell. Undoubtedly they want you to get to know better and to give other areas of their personality a chance to outweigh the ‘bad’ parts…But when is it too late to pull back and realize you’re with the wrong woman?

Buyer Beware.  It’s an actual statement in many transactions and corresponding contracts that accompany them.  It means, it’s 100% up to the ‘buyer’ to check things out to their satisfaction, to insure no surprises at the end.  Now, as a man looking to meet the perfect woman (for you), it makes sense to, (before tripping down the aisle with someone you hardly know) to play it safe and really get to know this person on different levels.

Before you take the steps toward letting your heart open wide for this new woman, take some time to reflect on what attributes you admire, what kind of person you see yourself with, how you’d like certain situations to play out.

If you take some time to think about yourself, what you prefer, what your demeanor is in certain circumstances, your moral, ethical and ‘manner meter’, of sorts, you’ll be a better judge of what behavior is deemed ‘ok’ by you.  What’s right for your buddy may not be right for you.  Maybe he’s into the make-up sex or the screaming matches, doesn’t make it wrong, just not what draws you in for the long haul!   Once you develop a good sense of self, you will be better aware of personality traits that will suit you over time.

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A woman can play seemingly ‘perfect’ for a while so don’t let the amount of time you’ve been seeing her function as your ‘green light’ to march ahead of yourself.  Try different situations and see how she maneuvers through them and let that be your example of who she is when everything isn’t going her way.

Sometimes, it’s in the little things she does or doesn’t do that can tip you as to the kind of woman you’re spending time with.  Does she have respect for your friends?  Does she like your family?  Is she cool with your dog?!?  Check out how she speaks to people she doesn’t know, like that cute waitress at your favorite hang-out…is she the jealous type?  Does she make biting remarks that seem unkind and pretty low blow?  How does she react to compromise?  Is it her way or the highway?

As you’re probably guessing by now, what I’m saying is TAKE YOUR TIME.  Don’t rush into something just because she’s the hottest girl that’s paid you any attention.  There might be a reason she’s available!  I’m not suggesting that just because someone’s ‘on the market’ means that they have ‘secret’ issues.  I’m just saying that you want to be sure that ‘what you see is what you get’. Not too many surprises, at least, not the bad ones!

Everyone wants elements of surprise in their relationships, but not necessarily when it comes to someone’s personality. Everyone has things about themselves that they’re probably not that excited to share with the world at large, but for the most part, you want to make sure you’re dating, spending time with & relating with a woman that is who she perceives to be.

That’s not asking too much.  Any woman who has a bi-personality (and I don’t mean it the way you’re thinking it..) is trouble.  You’ll never now which persona is going to show up!  Getting upset is one thing, throwing a tantrum in front of your friends, family or the general public, is another.  Unless you’re the Drama King, stay away from the Drama Queens, no matter how glittering their ‘crowns’ may be –  they’re fake and sooner or later, you’ll be on the receiving line of one of those tantrums and you’re going to think “I knew this could happen” because you’d seen her actions many times before.

Sometimes we want our potential significant others to be our perfect mate.  We’d love to turn them into fun-loving, easy going, stress-free people that we can get along with effortlessly and often, but we need to be aware that people don’t come with warning tags. And people don’t change just because it doesn’t suit someone else.  People change because they finally realize they need to, because they want to.

It’s up to you to know yourself and what turns you on and off, and then, gauge whether the woman you’re dating actually has the potential to be The Woman of Your Dreams.  People can change, but it’s best to let them do that on their own and not be the one having to have your heart invested in the remodeling job that’s underway in their life.

Relationship Coach Monica S.

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This article was originally published at How To Get The Woman of Your Dreams . Reprinted with permission from the author.