My Husband And I Don't Share My Girlfriend

Jenny Block answers your questions about relationship dynamics in an open marriage.

By Jenny Block — Written on Aug 27, 2009

Jemma is actually only my girlfriend and not my husband's. Although the two of them are very good friends. They have a lot in common, in fact—food, wine, books, theater. It's nice because she is often over in the evenings and on weekends and there is a great vibe between all four of us really.

When my husband and I first experimented with opening our marriage we did both have the same girlfriend, which also worked out really well for all of us. It's definitely a chemistry thing—with a little magic mixed in, I suppose. You have to have the right people at the right time all interested in the same thing. Dating a Couple

We haven't ever shared a boyfriend. That is not something my husband is interested in because he is not sexually interested in men. I'm not sure it would be something I would be interested in either. That's a totally different dynamic. In fact, I'm not even sure I would want to have the same girlfriend again. Although, I try to never say never! In Relationships, Does "Normal" Exist?

That's the wonderful thing about our marriage and about many other people's marriages, I hope. It's all about what the people involved want. Not what society dictates or guilt compels, but what the spouses and partners actually want whether that be monogamy, polyamory, swinging, or the like.

I know people in open marriages who explore all sorts of permutations, including poly-fidelitous v's of three and tribes or ten or more. As far as I am concerned, all you need in a relationship are love and trust and honesty and communication. The rest ... is up to you.

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