“Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”

“Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”
Love, Self

When to know its time to take a break from your relationship

  • Do you trust each other? 

If you have been in a relationship long enough to establish trust, this is the foundation for many successful relationships. If the trust has been broken somehow, it can be an uphill battle to reestablish this important footing. If both people are making an effort to forgive and forget, then there is hope! Although if either one of you is harboring anger, resentment or a holding a grudge, it might be time to take a break. There is only so long before built up anger can be explosive and toxic. 

For many people, once the trust is broken it can be impossible to resurrect the relationship to what it was. There are some more forgiving personality types that don’t take a broken agreement personally but, more commonly people take it personally and the hurt feelings make it difficult to reconnect the same way ever again. 

  • Is there mutual respect? 

Respect and trust go hand and hand and in many cases being kind and respecting your partner for whatever they are going through is also a sign of compassion and true love. Do you respect your partner's personality traits, wisdom, and do you feel it reciprocated? When we respect and love our partners at a soul level there is a level of respect that can be the cement for a long term loving relationship. 

  • Is the intimacy intimate? 

Being intimate is so much more than having sex. Do you feel you can share your full self with your partner? Do you hide parts of your self for fear of being judged or misunderstood? Being able to let your guard down and share your most precious moments with is the doorway to having a soul mate and a deep connection of true intimacy.  If you feel the real intimate moments are few and far between, is it possible to meet your partner halfway? If it's a one-way street or even worse a dead-end, maybe some alone time is needed to reconnect with your own soul. 

  • Are you inspired or tired? 

Let's face it the longer we are in a personal relationship it is common, that what we once found as an inspiring trait in our partner, can become downright tiring or even annoying. Looking beyond the actions into the intentions of your partner can be key.  Are you inspired by their core values and is the intention behind their actions, the core values you find inspiring? 

If your core values are in sync, this can also be a great reason to sit tight and wait for the next tide of good feelings to roll in.  

  • Is your best-self flourishing when around your partner?

When we are inspired by our partner's values and merit it often calls us to be our best self. If you find yourself striving to be your best self in the presence of your loved one this is another fabulous sign you have found a soul mate. If on the other hand, you find, the “not so good parts” of yourself seem to be brought out while in the company of your partner; Another sure sign this might not be the one. 

  • Do you only have eyes for your partner? 

A common symptom of not getting our needs met in a relationship is when attractions to other people outside of the relationship continue to happen. If karma necessitates a relationship outside of your current relationship this is a sure sign to take a break!  

If you answered No to 3 or more of the 6 questions it is likely you need a time out to consider if this relationship is building you up or breaking you down.

Jennifer Day is a Life Coach, teacher, and speaker based in Los Angeles, CA. Visit her website for more great articles or to set up a session via Skype or in-office.    

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