3 Non-Negotiables For Long-Term Love That Your Man MUST Have

Find a forever love with these three must haves.

The below is an excerpt from Jasbina's interview with Neely Steinberg, author of the book Skin in the Game: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love. (The entire interview transcript is available here.)

Jasbina: In your book, you mention what you call an "affinity list." Interestingly, you detail three non-negotiable qualities, which you cite as fundamentally important in a partner for long-term love. Tell us about that.

Neely Steinberg: As a coach, I rarely make mandates. I'm more in favor of guiding people to come to the answers that work for them in their lives, as opposed to saying, "I know what's best for you. Do this, do that." I rarely make mandates.

When you're creating a list of the things that you're looking for in a partner, I call it your "affinity list." There are three things that I have mandated in the book that should be on this list.

The Three Ideal Partner Qualities

  1. Kindness
  2. Trustworthiness
  3. Dependability

I think, a lot of times, when women create their lists, they list off a lot of characteristics. I think it's essentially important to start thinking about the character of the person you want to be with. Those three things—kindness, trustworthiness and reliability—are the cornerstones of successful relationships.

You're out there in the dating world and dating different people. Start asking yourself:

  • Is this man kind to me?
  • Is he kind in the way he listens, or in the way that I need him to be kind to me?
  • Is he trustworthy?
  • Can I really trust this guy?

Obviously, you won't know this after a week of dating someone. You have to continue to date them for a few months.

Continue to think to yourself:

  • Is he reliable?
  • Can I depend on this person?
  • Do his actions speak louder than his words?

It's not just about displaying these three qualities when getting to know someone, but if he or she is consistently displaying those qualities over a period of time. Those are three things that I think should be on every woman's list. The rest are up to her.

Listen to the entire interview on Intersections Match Talk Radio (Jasbina's Lifestyle Show), listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio, or listen to the entire interview on iTunes.

Jasbina Ahluwalia is an Indian American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker/Dating Coach. She is the Founder & President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only Premier Full-Service Selective Search, Dating / Relationship Coaching & Online Dating Support Firm – For Indian Singles. Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show: conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness. She has received worldwide press (Oprah, Chicago Tribune, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine) including TV and Video & Radio. For more information, please visit www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this column to Jasbina via email.

For more from Jasbina: Lisa Daily Interview (Guide to Stop Getting Dumped!), Blog (Take Control Of Dating), Diana Kirschner Interview (Guide to Lasting Love).

This article was originally published at http://intersectionsmatch.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.