Is Your Culture Changing The Way You Love?


What's right for everyone else may not be what's right for YOU.

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Susan Winter, author of the book Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life, "You write about the ways in which our self-worth and our identity are connected to our happiness and authentic selves. Tell us what you mean by that in terms of that connection."

Susan Winter's Response

We start off in life by learning how to be according to the world around us. Our society has come up with, "This is correct and this is not correct."

Unique Culture Influences

The society of South Asians may be a completely different reality than an American growing up in the Midwest in terms of the value system of what is correct and right. We grow up adopting a system that's generically good. It's been passed down by our ancestors and our parents. We are told, "This is the correct way to live life." It's what I call the checklist.

While it's a fine design, what we are not asking in that expression of our authentic selves is, "Is this right and true for me? How do I feel about this?" Instead of taking on an identity that our world has said is appropriate, we should really check in to see what our unique gift is here to live out and create the life that we feel is correct and has meaning for us. Also, we should live a relationship authentic with who we are and our abilities and desires.

Initially, we learn by following examples. Then, there is the separation process. Oftentimes, we feel very disconnected, maybe from our family or friends.

  • We're changing.
  • We're growing.
  • We're going in a different direction.

That's the uncharted journey that is often unsupported. It is that very journey that has no markers.

Discover Your Authentic Self

We don't know where we're going. It's all trial and error and new input. That's the beauty. That's the real thing. That's where we're carving out how we feel at any given moment about this new input and whether it's a yes or no for us. That's the true journey of living the authentic self.

The above is an excerpt from Jasbina's interview with Susan Winters. The entire interview transcript is at Susan Winters Interview: Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life. Listen to the entire interview on Intersections Match Talk Radio, Jasbina's Lifestyle Show. Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life—Susan Winters. Listen to the entire interview on iTunes.

Jasbina Ahluwalia is an Indian American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker/Dating Coach.  She is the Founder and President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only Premier Full-Service Selective Search, Dating / Relationship Coaching & Online Dating Support Firm—For Indian Singles.  Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show—conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness. She has received worldwide press (Oprah, Chicago Tribune, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine) including TV and Video & Radio. For more information, please visit www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a question to be considered for this column to Jasbina directly at info @ interectionsmatch.com.

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This article was originally published at http://intersectionsmatch.com/. Reprinted with permission from the author.