Understand? Yes. ACCEPT? No!

Understand? Yes. ACCEPT? No!
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Love

Sometimes those peppy one-liners about life are annoying to me. Ya, ya, I know those Laws of Attraction, and that what you "think about, what you thank about is what you bring about"....and, sure, I buy into the "Live life to the fullest" and all that jazz - but sometimes something happens that is so unjust and unfair, it makes my mind boggle...and the cynic in me takes over. Like today.

Yes, it's always a great day to be alive, and everyday that I wake up without a toe tag is a fabulous day. In the mornings, I enjoy my cup of coffee and thank God I am blessed with an inspiring view of the mountains in Arizona, I am grateful for many things. Except for the phone call I received this morning.

Today I spoke to the soon-to-be widow of one of the kindest most loving person I know. Her husband is dying. And, sure, we're ALL dying everyday - but I'm talking
about dying NOW - as in given a month at best. He's in a tremendous amount of pain and suffering. It occurred to me that we live a life shrouded with bits of tremendous pain and suffering, so WHY should dying consolidate it all in one fell swoop? I am heartbroken. I am speechless. I am writing about it because verbalizing anything about it escapes me.

Death is the Yang to Life. It's inevitable. I understand it. I've lost friends in my teens. I've lost friends in my 20's. I lost my own husband in his very early 40's. I understand death. I get it, God. OK? It's just a fact of life that we all have to understand.

However, just because I UNDERSTAND it, doesn't mean that I have to accept it. Or, that I can't be angry about the loss, and mad. Mad because I hold both of them dear to me, and now I will have to stand strong for my friend that is soon-to-be a widow...married to her husband for 55 years.If I break, she will. Right now, she needs strength and someone to be a rock for her. I accept this role for her.

When I think of them, I think about true soul mates (and I don't even use that over-used, misunderstood word "soul
mate"). However; if there ever was a couple that exemplified "soul mate", it is these two. She is his Yin, he is her Yang. They finish each others sentences, they laugh at the same time and act as if they are still dating. Together they brought me joy. And, I suppose that's what I'm most angry about. Today, the news I
got was a "Joy Robber". I know that there's a rhyme and a reason for everything, I only wish that God could have prolonged this just for a while longer. I'm not ready to let go, and I sure know she isn't either.

I've come to the conclusion that "Take time to smell the roses" isn't such a cliche. She told me that they were having so much fun remodeling their home, and that life was just great for the two of them...then, this hits. Yes, it's inoperable, yes it's inevitable, yes it's a matter of time- only it's divine time, and God only knows if it will be 2 days or 2 weeks or 2 months.

No peppy one-liners today. No great quotes from happy Life coaches... just an intensely deep sadness for my friends that I love. And I am praying for both. I ask that you do the same.

Sending you angels,

Jane

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