The EX Factor - Making a deal?


Congratulations. You survived the messy, humiliating break-up when he told you that he was seeing someone else. Oh, and yes, he was cheating on you while making you feel like everything that went wrong in the relationship was your fault. And now that he's discovered the TRUE love of his life, his princess (you are the toad, by the way), he's moving on.

The road to survival was scattered with challenges....wasting sleepless nights wondering what YOU did and what went wrong. Crying endless streams of tears until you're so exhausted you can't cry about it anymore. You've spent days dreaming up ways to get even (just shy of boiling bunnies) then, finally, you've resigned yourself to the fact that Karma will bite him in the beehind. Slowly
but surely, you start to engage yourself in the business at hand: living YOUR life as a single person.

You really want to move on; only right now, there isn't anyone around that interests you - a prince that will whisk you off to Neverland. Then you just get tired of trying, and tired of being alone. The fear sets in. "What if, you ask yourself, I'll never find anyone else?" (you will, but I'll save that for another blog).

Then you get "the call". He wants to come back into your life and pick up where he unceremoniously dumped you. He still loves you, misses you, he made a mistake, you're the one...etc. etc." These are the words you've longed to hear. These are the words you've dreamed about and thought if this happened, you'd slam the phone down (of course prefacing this act with a tirade of your own expletives telling him exactly what he did to you).

So, do ya want him back? Do you agree to meet with him and talk, or do you tell him "No thank you. A cheater, liar, and someone that dumped me has no room in my life"? Difficult choices, indeed.

On one hand you remember what your relationship WAS, in the beginning when he was so attentive and charming. You recall the joy of seeing him, and the cute little gifts he brought to you "just because he was thinking of you". You can still smell the dozens of roses he sent for "no special occasion, except to say I love you". A smile comes to you when you reminisce about his eyes lighting up, and the way he called you
"darlin". It all comes rushing to that emotional frontal lobe of your brain (where adrenalin and endorphins are housed).

On the other hand, what about the princess? The true love of his life? Where did she go? Did she get zapped into a frog, or whisked away by flying monkeys? Is she the one that broke up with him? (oh, and whether or not she did, it will always be that it was HIS decision, he couldn't live without YOU).

Do you choose Door #1 or Door #2? Well, Monte, tell us what's behind these doors!

Door #1 leads you in a new, bright beginning - fearlessly living out your single life and enjoying every moment of "me" time. As you're doing this, you'll be keeping your heart open for that trusting man that will treat you with respect and dignity. He's got a boatload of integrity, and will be faithful to you!

Door #2 is him. The Ex. The liar, the cheater. The man that came back with his tail between his legs, hat in hand, asking for forgiveness. He came back to you, more than likely because the princess dumped him in a mossy pond, and he can't stand being alone. He NEEDS you...when the truth is he NEEDS someone. You're
still single, and he's sure you've been pining away for him. Can you trust that he won't do it again? (Odds on this are probably not. You'll be looking over your shoulder every chance you get).

Do you choose heaven, or do you choose hell? Choose wisely. Take Heaven! And stick with your original thought when you were first dumped: let him rot in hell....

Reposted from my blog: The Angel's Loft