Getting Dumped Could Be The Best Thing To Happen To You


With a little change in perspective, it becomes something to be truly grateful for.

I was telling a friend about my blog recently, and while I was explaining why I’m so passionate about wanting to help women out there to avoid the heartbreak that I experienced during my single days, I had an epiphany. About all that heartbreak. I realized it’s actually a gift.

You heard me right. A gift.

Something to be cherished. Something to be happy about.

Any time we experience a broken heart over someone who didn’t turn out to love us the way we loved them, any time we’re forced to face that tough reality of unrequited love, any time we’re left watching someone walk away from us, realizing we’re on our own again, is truly a gift.

Let me explain.

You see, I know that grateful is usually the very last thing we feel when someone’s just told us we’re not the one for them, and that the relationship is over.

But what if we could choose, instead, to realize that this breakup just saved us from going any further down the wrong path, the path that we had most likely already spent too much time going down already? What if we could thank heaven, or the universe, or fate, or whatever it is we believe in, for not letting us go any further with someone who wasn’t on the same page we are? Someone who wasn’t the right one for us.

To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want ... and Deserve"

Sure, our dreams about the relationship were beautiful and wonderful dreams, but that’s all they were – dreams. Regardless of how much we wanted them to come true. And I know firsthand just how much we can want them to come true. But the truth is we were having those dreams by ourselves.

If you really look at the relationship, with the filter of your dreams removed, most likely you’ll see that it wasn’t what you really wanted. When you think about the relationship honestly, did it lift you up or break you down? Did you feel good about yourself when you were with him, or did you feel like you were always trying to be what he wanted you to be? And most importantly, could you see yourself living happily ever after the way things really were? My guess is no.

How do I know? Because if it was great for both of you, and he was the right one for you and you were the right one for him, you’d still be in it. Why? Because people don’t end relationships that are right for them.

So what if, instead of looking at the breakup as something that we didn’t want, we could see that it actually saved us from much more heartbreak and much more disappointment that was looming up around the bend. It saved us from continuing on with the false pretense that everything is ok, that this is all we want, all we expect out of a relationship; that this is as good as it gets. It saved us from spending any more time doing whatever we could to turn things around, knowing we were the only ones trying to turn it. Wouldn’t that change everything?

I can tell you firsthand that each time I found myself devastated and heartbroken after another failed relationship, if I had been able to see what I was missing out on, I would have been relieved instead of devastated. I realize now how different my life would have been if any of those relationship had worked out. I would have missed out on what I now know is the way a relationship is supposed to feel. A supportive, caring, loving relationship with the guy that’s right for me, who treats me the way I know I deserve to be treated. With the guy who brings out the best in me.

So whether you’re going through this kind of heartbreak right now, or if it happens down the road, and you find yourself lamenting the end of the relationship that you so wanted to be the real thing, take a moment to think about it as a gift. He’s just given you the gift of setting you free. He’s given you the chance of finding the real thing. The chance to find our who you really are, and get very clear on what you really want in a relationship.

And know that every breakup takes you one step closer to the right guy for you.

P.S. If you’re currently going through a breakup, trust me on this one: no matter what you’re feeling at this moment, one day you will look back and wonder what you ever saw in this guy who right now means so much to you. Because if he truly was the one for you, you’d still be together. And you wouldn’t be feeling this way. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just not the right one for you. He knows it, and you know it too. It’s just hard to accept sometimes when you’re still holding on to the dream of what you wanted it to be. I know, it’s hard. Let yourself feel the pain. Cry those tears. And when you’re ready, remind yourself it’s a gift.

You may not realize it right now, but one day, you will.

To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want ... and Deserve"

Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at

This article was originally published at Getting to True Love . Reprinted with permission from the author.